What am I to her?

Months ago.. I had a crush on a girl... I tried so many times to approach her.. after a few months of hard work, I did it.. I thought everything is going fine, but somehow when time goes by.. I found that I'm just too stupid to believe that when you treat a person nice, they will treat you nice too..

This is a definitely a NO NO, all the while, I'm just a floating wood that used by her to float when she's in the middle of the sea. Recalling what I have did for the past few months is really not worth it, I have been spending my precious sleep time to get contact with her, I would spend my time hanging out with her, I would spend my money on calling her, I would pay every single attention to her. What do I get in the end?

I get ignorance, the pain is unbearable, Why? Why? Why? Am I only worth to be her friend when there's no one wants to be with her, when no one good to her? Without a doubt I think I am, all the empty promises, all the lies, all the sweet memories are just a lie, a dream, a fantasy.

What am I actually?

Am I that bad? Am I that worthless? What have I did wrong?

I hate you!! I hate you!!

I wish we never met before!!

You lied me!

I seriously hate you!!

If I hate you that much, why are you always appearing in my mind!?! WHY??
I miss you in the same time.. Time to let go... I thought I forgotten you.. but it seems I did not managed to..

What you want now? WHAT YOU WANT!!

STOP MAKING ME THINKING OF YOU IF YOU DON'T WANT ME!!

My life is happy without your existent! Why? Why? Why?
Why the heck you SMS me?

Why?
Why?
Why?

I hate you.. yet I miss you..

I'm so disappointed.........................................................