Allan's Room

I can't stand it anymore

2010-09-10T14:37:00.005+08:00

Seriously I can't take it anymore, I really don't know where to release my tension except using this blog.

Why the hell do I have to stucked between my old folks. Did they ever think of me? Think of my future?

Why do I have to handle every single thing for them. Can I have my little own world where I can start my own life?

Seriously I can't any middle point. I have care so much about the feeling of you both, who cares about me?

I have to even take care the future of both siblings. I have to scold them.

I have to do so many things that I don't even have some space for me to think about myself.

You think it's fair? And now both of you push me to even care about the relationship between you both!

HEY GIVE ME A BREAK CAN'T YOU BOTH?

I'M A MERE HUMAN TOO! I TOO HAVE THE CHOOCE OF BEING SELFISH.

STOP MAKING STUPID ARGUEMENT LIKE WHAT TO EAT, WHERE TO GO, YOU BOTH DISCUSS DONT PUSH THE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY TO ME! WHATEVER DECISION CANT PLEASE U BOTH! I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE SELFISH!

YOU BOTH MAKES ME CANT BREATH ANYMORE! FUCK U BOTH!

Done

2010-08-13T20:56:00.002+08:00

Up til now, I have no idea what kind of live am I living and what kind of direction am I heading to.

This is so bad as I do not see much progression this year. The company has lost without even benchmark for growth.

How I wish I could take over the lead of the company and set my own goal and drive the organization forward.

I couldn't talk anymore. I am so fed up.

Done

Tired

2010-08-13T11:51:00.002+08:00

Exhausted.

I do not know what to do anymore, instruction overridden, unclear objective, unclear relationship, unclear working status, unclear future.

I do not wish to continue like this anyway, time spent seems not so worthwhile.

I have no idea what to do anymore.

It has halted.

I want to stop

Reminder

2010-03-18T19:02:00.001+08:00

"People who are very successful have an incredible sense of optimism," says Joan Kane, a Manhattan psychologist who treats many a high-powered executive. "They don't have the sense of limitations that most people have. There's no limit to their capacity to achieve and keep going. Age and family commitments don't deter them."

Unbounded optimism. Insatiable need to win. These are but two characteristics of the stratospherically wealthy. There are many more.

It takes serious guts to abandon the comforts of an office, a two-week paycheck and a decent health care package to start a small business, let alone build an empire. Billionaires have a confidence bordering on arrogance that checks their fear and doubt--even as the bets grow larger and more complicated. Put another way, they have an uncanny ability to shrug off failure.

"Highly successful entrepreneurs view failure as a way to gather data," says psychologist David Ballard, head of the American Psychological Association Health Workplace Program. "That's how they learn. It's part of the process instead of being the end of road."

Do you have billionaire DNA and just don't know it yet? Before you set off on a course for prodigious wealth (and risk ruining your life in the process), ask yourself 13 hard questions, inspired by Ballard, Kane and executive psychologist Debra Condren, who has worked with the likes of 3M, Chevron and Hewlett-Packard. Here are just a few (for the complete list, see our slideshow:

Why Go Big At All?

Mapping out your long-term goals for the business is critical before you decide to kick growth into high gear. Aiming to sell out in a few years? Fine. Suffused with competitive desire? Okay. Just want to be left alone to trick out your product, with little care for the bottom line? Stay small.

Family

2010-03-15T13:27:00.003+08:00

I wonder why the hell my mum need to complains every single thing she does. There's maid at her expense. No need to do all those cooking, washing, and chores. Everyday when I'm back certainly there's complain, which makes me sick of it. I really don't wish to live such life. It's sickening. Let the daily chores runs itself, don't bother anymore. Everyday also complain and complain and complain nobody helps, I wonder if all her sons and daughter to be there to help her chores would make her better. Come on... we too need a life, we need to plan for our future, sitting at home won't help... Let the chores run itself please. I'm tired of those complains.

Birthday?

2010-02-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

I'm used to be good organizing other people ones. But mine? I am not sure. Guess no one will remember. Like serious. Preparing cake? Present? Atmosphere? Invitation, who to and who not to. Giving faces to attend theirs. Guess world is just not fair. Yes, the world has never been fair. Guess I'll just need to bare with it. Don't you think so? Yea I believe so.

Believe it or not. For 24 years or maybe when I start to have my own thinking being, I never had someone I really wish to celebrate my birthday with alongside with me. Haha.. what a joke, seems everything is fading away. Very often I do felt myself being under appreciated.

I just wish to have someone that appreciate me. Seems this person is hard to get.

It's tiring to think what to do on birthday. Who to invite, who to ask, where to go, what to do. Why not there's some one who will arrange for me?

Keep on dreaming k? Time to sleep. Nights

Midnight Thought

2010-02-07T02:27:00.002+08:00

Marriage; as simple as everyone thought, it's all about I love you and you love me. Often neglecting what matter the most in marriage, it is thought to be very fun and romantic and happily ever after kind of fairy tale. Which I shall say, it is not as easy as it thought, it is a fairly complex and involved numerous parties of people. Some times I really think "Idol-Drama" deliver a very wrong message to their viewer, which I highly do not recommend people to watch. It's plain...... "fairy-tale".

It is indeed a promise to take care the other half as long as you live. Committed to each other and stay loyal. Being loyal has always be a problem for human being, however controllable by limiting your space in fantasizing. Commitment, how much commitment can you pour into your marriage? I doubt anyone thought of it. Can you trade your time, career, opportunity and personal interest for this marriage, it's just vice versa for husband and wife.

This has not come to financial burden, family affairs, friendship and not to forget another commitment for your heirs, yes, PARENT-ing. Which is certainly the most important if not vital for the child. I truly believe in giving my offspring the best, in term of a good childhood, education, fatherhood, and being with them when they grow. Which I sorely missed most of it from my childhood.

Having a cousin growing up from a broken family, I saw the unhappiness inside her though she's just three years old. Some times people argued for abort or not to abort, thinking in short term, you would be an awesome mum for not aborting, so holy that it should be considered a good deed. But have you ever thought of how great is the responsibility of growing up a child? Have you even thought of parenting them? Guiding them? How are you going to guide them while you don't even able to guide yourself?

Aborting infants seem damn cruel, inhumane, and so evil. But if you know that you have no characteristic and determination to become a parent. Please do so, it will be good for the unborn child. Never letting him/her to come to this cruel world would serve him/her best.

Having seeing her growing from a 1 month old baby to 3 months old baby to 1 year old child and now she's in kinder-garden, pre-school. Often saw her sadness in her face, cute and adorable, but yet I felt she's pity and helpless, being thrown here and there. No one wanting her, like a unwanted toy being pushed around.

Without love and care, what would you become in the future? Shall I be strict on you? Shall I be good to you? I do not know.

To you I might be the closest siblings, your big brother, the one who cherish you most. Often laying your head on my shoulder when hugging you. Always trying to get attention from me and wanted to stick with me. I love you too.

For I have know your upcoming journey will be a stormy and unclear and harsh. What's more you can do? You are already here, I will just by your side accompanying you throughout my last breath. Being truthful, I wish you were never here, so you would not be suffering on this imbalance life in this incomplete family.

I promise that I will be there as long as I am still capable of, don't let me down, be a good one, be a good one, sha du sha du sha du.....

Dilemma

2010-02-05T22:54:00.002+08:00

It's Friday night, yet I stayed at home doing nothing. Blogging and leaving tonnes of unread books lying on the floor in the room.

Has recently felt a lot of unease in my mind. Financial, relationship, personal interest, career advancement, future, game plan, and family affairs.

Financial;

My mum used to tell me the more you earn the more you spend, which I don't really understand until recently. Yea.. earn quite decently but has then spend a lot more than previously. Everything now for me cost hundred or thousand.

Relationship;

It has been complicated, being sentenced to lifetime imprison is no better than hanging me to death. Might be the she just need time to focus on other things. Doesn't know if it's my fault or not. It's definitely torturous. But I willing to wait, willing to spend my time on it. Definitely I will. Let's be positive =)

Personal Interest;

I would really like to improve myself in any aspect. But time seems so limited and I started to procrastinate again and again. I need to pick myself up again and start to improve. In term of soft skills and technical skill whatsoever. I need to upgrade.

Career advancement;

Moving too slow or shall I say already stagnant for a long time. Nothing much advance. Many asked me if I think it's too much of waste to give up IT. Well.. it's always my wish to be back in IT industry. I will I vow, this year will be my year to advance myself in career and personal interest.

Future;

My future is purely lye on my personal interest and career advancement. Financially I believe it's in a stable mode. I just hope for a simple yet interesting life. =)

Game plan;

It's been my wish to able to be the top player instead of being look as a small fringe player. I will be the indispensable player in three years time.

Family affairs;

I have enough. I only care about my atomic family, I couldn't think too much on this nucleous family affairs.. Stop giving me trouble and let me stay in peace.

God bless. Om Mane Padme Hom. Amen. Amitabha. FUCK THE WORLD!

I'm upset.....

2010-02-01T01:55:00.002+08:00

I have been very upset with the problem I face right until now. Why can't they think wiser? Why I have to do all the shits they left over.. Please stop complaining about each other.. why not start compromising each other?

I'm the younger generation. I do not know what I can do to educate you all. Your disagreement will only leads to our miserable life. Yelling each other is not a solution definitely. You need to talk, please talk to each other. Have faith and have trust.

Living in this restrained world. Restrained from this and from that. What can I do? Accompanying you all is not a good solution. I am very headache and heartache. I felt stagnant. I have not move since then. I have to start moving again. I will be moving again. I vow to bring my generation moving along with me. I can't be stagnant anymore.

Call me whatever negative things as you want. You all think about it. I'm done. I will move on from now on. Whatever you think no longer important to me anymore.

What happened so far?

2010-01-19T11:11:00.003+08:00

Happy new year!! Year 2010!

Where am I by then? Back from JB to KL and the next day to Ipoh, seems I really become a traveler, why the hell am I not listen to older people say don't move away from table while eating dinner. I brought my plate going here and there and running from television to computer. That's why... Now.. I wish I could just sit in office and reach home by 5, date people I like most after 5. Seems not that possible for the coming weeks, months or years.

Back from JB getting all excited to being able to meet you up and the new year eve and spend it along with you. But I have always not able catch you, it just seems I can't really predict what you thinking. Haha

Fetching you towards to trip seems is the only way I can meet up with you. Wishing you could sit besides me, but you shifted to the back, hmmm.... Why so? Something up? I'm not sure but surely glad you are with me.

But still I don't know what you thinking too, speaking of your ex being whichever good, which I thought ain't I did it too, though not 100% at least there's 60% haha don't I? I shall keep silent. Before we started our journey, I gave you a pair of earring as a present from S'pore or xmas! Nice isn't it?

Trip was alright, fun too! Though not all 100% by your side. As long as it's in a group. What's more I can ask more? Haha, doing on purpose neglecting you, you do show you mind for me neglecting you. Haha sweet victory isn't it? On purposely asking Priscilla is she cold? Why not you? Haha I smell slightest vinegar taste. Or might it be I just think too much.

So... I sometimes wonder if you have any feeling for me? You purred like a little cat when no one is around. But coldly treated me when there's people around. It's... confusing.

Time flies... and you were busy with your life and work. Only able to meet you up at clubs.. I wonder what can I do to improve the relationship? There's very little.

Things started to go wrong when your SMS didn't reach my phone. Arriving your place without knowing you didn't need me anymore.. I felt so restless and somehow disappointed.

Ignoring you at club, put no attention towards you. Playing so crazy ignoring you. Resulting? I am not sure..

I hope you are not angry, I hope you are not. Not in the mood writing anymore... I seriously cannot catch what are you thinking. Might you really want to concentrate in work. That's the most positive way I can think of, I hope everything will be as same as last time...

2010 New Year Resolution.

2009-12-22T12:16:00.002+08:00

Do you have one? I have one everyone.. but I doubt I able to achieve 20% of it. So I hope the next year one will be a realistic one and achievable. Let's not setting too much 1o nos is adequate.

Guess it would be too late for me to learn Chinese. I give up on this.

Learning new programming language need a lot of practices. No time for this. Give up.

Reading books, cut my internet if you want me to do so.

Be more patient.
Emphasize on the company documentation of any project. Create templates for different type, scale, and documenting problem, solution, and avoidance.
Properly plan for future. Company road map in 3 years time.
Proper finance management. Manage the portfolio nicely, calculate the returns in 5 years time.
Waste no time.

That's for the time being.

Xmas has come!

2009-12-18T21:12:00.001+08:00

Merry Xmas. Shall I get anything for myself?

Another falldown

2009-11-29T09:38:00.003+08:00

Was really happy for able to come back to KL for some holiday. I'm even more happy to know that I am able to go out with you! Say I am naive, simple minded, or stupid, I don't mind. To be able to go out with you, is my biggest wish, at least for now. Ever remember the very last time where I screwed up, by sending you 99 roses on the 09/09/09. I thought we were so unfamiliar. I tried to make it back, I did, I am happy that you allow me to bring back our familiarity back to or better than previously was.

Was worried I wasn't able to make it on time while I was having a decent breakfast with my family. I was so rush that I wanted to see you on the spot. Arriving at 110pm, which I got your SMS earlier to reach by 110pm. I'm glad that I didn't late. Poor you, you said your hand got cut by the contact lens cover. I wonder if your wound has become better? I hope so. Went to fetch Rainbow, and you say you don't want to be late. I used KESAS highway to reach Sunway Pyramid before 200pm. YES! I didn't disappoint you. I really hope I will never disappoint you in any single way.

Though it's a bit "don't know what to do" but still I am very happy to be able to go out with you although it's a group outing. Seriously! I love it! You said you are hungry, and I asked you not to have too much food as gastric might strike you again, but silly me, I went to order so much! Seafood plater, sashimi, sushi and others, I'm so bloated! I just enjoy the time we are having the meal!! It was a fantastic time to be able to eat with you! You seems to happy to be able to eat that much. Luckily gastric didn't strike you.

We went to the movie. Though we are not sitting to each other, but I'm grateful to be able to watch the movie with you. To be frank! I wish this could happens everyday!! I WISH! I DO WISH!

Then we went to LowYat for some Thai food, Bangkok Jam, haha it's a nice place, but also pricey. You seems to have a very nice chatting with your best buddies. Me too enjoy listening to your story. After a while, Rainbow asked why am I look so.... serious? Well... I'm glad that you answer for me, yea.. my face is like that, can't be helped. We went to KK Mart nearby Bkt Bintang to get some wines, I gave you my wallet when you ask me to pay first, do you know my intention? Hope you do. Something made me even happier is that you were so caring that when my nose seems running, you asked Rainbow if she has tissue paper, and you pass it to me. I really felt so "melted". Haha

Arrived to my house and we all drink to you seems so drunk. Laughing like just had drug. We played some stupid games. Exciting? Well.. certainly. You seems drunk, so after cleaning up the mess, I sent you home. You reminds me please do not use Mines highway, hahaha you seems really remember that situation. Sent you home and you said SMS you when I arrive. I wanted to call you but somehow my line got barred. I called you using my house line, you said you nearly do not want to pick up cos it's a anonymous number. Again I'm glad you picked up.

I really wanted to see you even more. Though we spent more than 12 hours together on that day itself. I leverage what you have said to Diana, you want to go to Phuture. I plan it, and make it going. I never know that you were so tired on the night itself. What certainly makes my day again is that we wore the same color attire! WOAH!!! But it seems doesn't help either right?

You seems just ignore me in the club. I wonder.

You said nothing. You just don't feel comfortable with the air inside. I must be thinking too much. Thinking that you might not like I dance with Rainbow? Diana? Haha well I think I am drunk that night. I also wonder why am I so obsess with you? I drive so slow that I am like not interested to send you home. But I have to, I just drive slowly. Atmosphere seems weird, I really wanted you to be with me. You ask me to talk whatever I want to talk and we did some heart to heart talk. You said you hate people being materialistic, did I do that? Please forgive me if I did so.

Disappointing.

You said you are not confident to start a new journey. I have lost confident in guys. Why is it so? I am not sure. But I hope I can penetrate it, open up your mind and be your man. Taking good care of you. I left with a hole in my heart. Sent you home and said bye. When I am back I sent an SMS trying to clarify on my action previously. You said I think too much, which I hope I did. I am glad that we can still go out next time and treat you on some good stuff.

I will continue this journey until the faith brought us apart.........

Leaving

2009-09-15T23:51:00.005+08:00

So I got to know that you will be leaving, leaving this world, leaving everything behind. The memories of me together with you is fading away. What can I do now other than memorizing everything and writing it down to myself.

I really can't recall much...

I know you love me, you always do, you love me more than your dearest.

You cherish me more than anyone do.

The way you care me is not comparable with anyone.

You hug me whenever you see me.

You shield me from my mum's rattan.

You protect me from sun and rain.

You ride me to school with your motorcycle.

You gave me money even my mum said not too.

You accompany me until the bell rang.

You accompany me playing with my friend.

You scolded those who bullied me.

You waited me until my school finished.

You brought me for lunch though you are poor.

You bought toys for me.

You gives me the biggest red packet among everyone.

You boil the best soup for Chinese New Year.

You save the best drumstick for me.

You feed me spoon by spoon when I don't want to eat.

You buy me roasted chicken wings for supper.

You scold everyone who scolded me.

You always come to visit me when I'm sick.

You always put your hand on my forehead to check if I'm on fever.

You pursuaded me to take medicine.

You checked my homework although you don't know English.

You sharpened my pencil for me whenever you come.

You check if my color pencils are complete.

You buy every single materials for me when I need it.

You find rare items for me whenever I need it for arts.

You do spelling with me.

You save the best for me.

I miss the feeling of you embracing me.

I miss the feeling of leaning on your shoulder.

You are so proud of me.

You bragged about me in front of everyone.

You are so proud that I got no. 3 overall in standard 3.

You bragged about it.

You bragged about me entering the top notch class during standard 6.

You are so proud when my friends' parent praising me.

You willing to fetch me everyday until I'm fourteen.

I am not a good grandchild.

Forgive me for not being a good grandchild.

Forgive me that I am ashamed you fetched me go and forth when I'm fourteen.

Forgive me for being the proudest grandchild ever, ashaming on you.

Which spells an end to our fond. I am sorry.

Time flies, family affairs change, as I grow elder, you grow older.

Every year you waited my family to eat at your house.

I knew you always wanted to but things just doesn't happen.

Adult, adult, adult, are always foolish.

Yet I have not greeted you in early morning Chinese New Year for years.

You still deliver the red packet to me with wishes.

You said it's OK not to find you, but I know you would love to.

You said go on find your friends, but I know you would like me to stay.

You always wanted me to study to the highest level.

You always wanted me to go oversea.

You always wanted me to go U.K. for furthere my study.

You always wanted me to study more.

You always wanted me to get my Master.

I'm sorry..

I have not wanted to study any higher than a degree.

I have not wanted to go oversea.

I have not even think about going U.K.

I have not wanted to study more.

I have not wanted to get my Master just yet.

And now I have graduated since 2007.

And now I have an honor degree from U.K.

But I have not told you anything.

I didn't informed you that I graduated.

I didn't even take a picture with you though I know you always wanted to.

I regret it.....

Very often I think about you.

But too often I give myself excuses I have no time.

Very often I wanted to buy you something.

But too often I give myself excuses let's buy it next time.

Such an unfilial grandson.

And now I have the financial capability, I bought you clothes, you said you don't need it.

I know you like it. I know you do. I force you to take it. I can see the brightest smile from you since many years ago.

I give you money, you said I shall keep it. Oh.. grandpa, how long more can I give you money?

I just wonder. You said keep it for myself but it would be meaningless to earn thousands and I got no chance to spend on you.

I force you to take it. I can see the brightest smile from you again.

I bought you a birthday cake, you said don't waste such money.

Then why are you wasting so much money on me? You bought me everything I wanted.

I don't care, I force you to come over.

I can see your brightest, happiest, warmest smile from your heart.

I hope we can celebrate again for coming years.

But how many more time? I hope it's not the last one.

Now I know you got cancer, the final stage. What else more can I do?

No one wants to take know about you.

No one even care about you.

Your unfilial sons, my unfilial uncles, have not even care about you.

What can I do?

I always wanted to scold them, I always wanted to fuck them, I always wanted to punch them.

But what can I do?

Your daugther, my mum, taught me to respect every elder no matter what happened.

Grandpa, fear not have no one wants you, I will take care of you.

Grandpa, fear not have no money, I have aplenty, I can take care of you.

Grandpa, fear not have no shelter, I have aplenty, you can stay as long as you can.

Grandpa, fear not to feel unwanted, I always wanted you to be with me.

Month ago, you fell from motorcycle, you were in pain, but you don't want to see a doctor.

Why? Why I have to force you to do everything that is good for you.

And this is not something you will happy about.

.......................................................................................................................

And yesterday I know about the bad news. I still don't know what can I do. Timing is moving so fast, it's really true that time and tide wait for no one, so fast that I wish it will stop for a while. Rewinds back to when I am still young, where you can embrace me and I can lie on your shoulder.

Arrogant

2009-09-15T23:18:00.002+08:00

I realized that I have been quite arrogant. For what I have now, I seriously forgot the base. I got money, but I forgot how hard is it to earn it. Is this typical situation for everyone? When you have money you tend to forget how to be humble.

Learn to be humble Allan..

Failed Whale

2009-09-14T00:15:00.002+08:00

For I have failed like a failed whale, what shall I do next? Pls gimme another chance.

Feeling

2009-09-11T09:09:00.003+08:00

I first saw you in the club with slight affection but something made me tend to not to know you. You changed my mind the second time few hours later when I know it's not your liking too. I reserved my impression on you.

The second time I saw you, I still feel slight affection towards you, you were beautiful that night, we talked, nothing more than a normal conversation. I saw someone trying to go near you, and you feel not so comfortable. I stepped in to interfere, which is so unlike me, who usually don't even bother what happen around me and my friends, would step up for a girl. To an extend I told him that you are my girl. I was stunned by my action and I guess you too. Never thought of being a hero, I ensure he didn't hurts you. As aggressive as he is, I got jokingly hit by him, but I am glad he's away from you. We are just glad that night ends faster rather than later. But I miss out the chance of getting your contact. A pity I must say.

I found you my mutual friend with Gee, I talked to Gee, I added you, but it seems you rejected me. Gee helped me, and we are now friend. Would love to thanks Gee for being so nice conveying my thought toward you. You said you were impressed!! So do I. We started to chat, thought not in deep, we exchanged number, I was so damn happy. You were asking me a favor to fetch you to club. What else more I can say, it's my total pleasure! I would leave any matter to do this favor. We got slightly closer, I know you a lil more. But I guess you just don't know me. It was an happy day! It really was!

As time goes by, I found you a very nice girl to be with. You have your own thought, you were a lil special, your caring towards friend, your positive thinking (or maybe just appearantly), tend to caught my attention. I found you are special too, when the gift you given to your friend is all small, inexpensive, and meaningful. You just caught my heart just like that! Can I find another person just like you in this materialistic world? I doubt so.

It seems I really into you. I find my way to get to know you more. I tried my best to get your attention. So I tried to figured out what you like. Which for an coincident, you said you like Zee Avi. I try my very best to find the CD though I got no time. I asked Alicia, I ask LQ to help me to find the CD, and still I know I couldn't let any chance to flow away, I couldn't let you get it yourself, I go and buy it myself. YES! I have finally bought it, I still hesitate to give it to you. But I told myself, don't let chances to go away just like that. I anxiously considering, and finally I called you, telling you I have something to give you. I am happy to see you stunned and have no words to say! I am very happy!

Days later, you said you were tensioned. You wish to have Haagen Dazs, you didn't told me directly. You posted on FB. Could it be my affection on you have grown? I try my very best to get you one. Which ends up I get you both. You were stunned! You said you appreciate what I done. I hope you know what I feel towards you.

Time passes without waiting. I always wanted to hang out with you and I got another chance. We went to Genting Highland alongside with your best friend. You said you wanted to see the firework, but I doubt I managed to reach there in time. Surprisingly I did managed but too bad we didn't managed to got to see the full firework. Your friend, Diana, argued with bf in the car, you teases her, you teases me, you asked "How much are you going to treasure me?" I really want to tell you "I am going to treasure you as long as you let me to.", I dare not, but the answer I gave you is just merely the same.

You praised me that the way I drive is very comfortable. I am very very pleased that I would drive you to anywhere everyday if I could. We miss out the firework and you jokingly said "I want to see the firework! You must do one for me! Let it be just two firework stick". I really think hard though I pretends not to pay attention to you. It was a great night for me I hope yours too. I got to know there's this guy was into you too, and for god sake, you leaked that you rejected him by telling him, you liked someone else.

Firework. It would be lame to really hold just two firework sticks. What's more? Am actually pretty glad to be able to know programming and flash. I find my way to make a firework. I finally did! I feel so great to be able to finish the program. What's more? I am trying a very good time to show you this firework. I wonder if you will be touched. I just can't wait to show it to you. I force myself to be brave enough to show it to you. I find my way to show it to you. I was disappointed that you didn't manage to see it by that day.

You asked me why you can't open, which I already know, you can't. I teached you. I really wish you could see it! And you were so so so surprised when you see it! You said "I see it! I see it! OMG! OMG! You remember what I said", I am glad you like it! You said "You are so so so sweet". I just happy! I am very happy that you said I'm sweet. I am glad you like it! I would love to do it everyday for you to make you happy.

We went to club, everything seems so fine, but I just don't know how to flirt with you in club. I don't know how can I approach you in club. We went home finally, after sending other friends home, I send you home. You asked me to use route A, but I use route B instead, because I know route A is much much more faster than route B. I wanted to stay with you a lil longer. But I don't know you will dislike it. I am sorry. You said you are just too tired. Could it really be? Or you are realy angry? I have been worrying since.

I don't dare to bother you.

I choose to believe in you since you said you have not got angry.

A few more days already 09/09/09, I tried to date you for dinner. But you said are going to work overtime. Which I believe you are, your dedication of work is just earn my respect. Thinking what can I do on this occasion, I bought a bouquet of 99 roses to your office. I knew it was too fast, I knew the result will not be the one I wanted.

I have never let you know I like you, I really would like to let you know I like you. It took so much courage to do such silly thing. The consequences is big, could be unexpected, could be negative. After all, I know the answer, I am glad that you did not tell me you got another person you liking. Instead you said you are not ready for relationship. You said you do not want to hurt me. I never told you, I am willing to wait until you are ready. Once I said it, I mean it.

What I believe in myself being part of employer

2009-08-21T15:08:00.002+08:00

I have no experience in working in big MNC, I have no course in BA, I only study BIT, has no economical background or whatsoever.

I work based on my logical thinking and my conscience, there's reason why I created a name for my new venture or future venture. "Synergy", I belive one can never succeed by their own, people must cooperate with each other to bring out a better result. My principal of life. Communication is a very very vital too. To communicate with your upper line and lower line can absolutely bring you to a higher level.

Why? This is because the lower line has more experience in operation and they face more operation difficulty than middle or upper line do. Middle line shall convey the difficulty faced by upper line to the lower line. Upper line shall consider even more on the middle and lower line operation.

How are you going to excel when everyone is pointing finger to keep their ass safe? Creating hatred everywhere which resulting to no harmony. What can you do about it? The company is going to ruin in no time. Expansion = Destruction.

Though this message might not able to convey to the intented party, but I do hope it can reminds me every single bit in the future.

I am still alive

2009-08-10T16:52:00.002+08:00

Well guys I am still alive in this earth and living happily with my current life and I content with what I have now and eagerly to upgrade it. That's it for the summary.

O.K. I think this blog have no more visitors! That's good!

I have been start working with my dad since March this year and everything progressing very well. Though many people might think I have been misplaced or to be said I wasted my 5 years of education in I.T. field, I seriously do not think I have wasted my 5 years of UC education. I always thought what I have learn from UC is not I.T. skill but is the way of working. Since I helped my dad I can proudly say that I have increased the business rate of my dad's business. That is why I dare to say I able to get a Mazda.

How much do I earn working in IT? 2K, 3K? Can I support the whole family? No, not even a bit!

I choose my path and I am happy with it.

I will not live on by looking back what failure I have live back. I only know if I don't move forward. I will just be stagnent. I will not look back the way I am, I will not look back my failure of my relationship, I will not look back on the failure of my friendship, I will not look back at my last jobs, I will not look back at my last failure. But it will remains as a reminder, reminds me on how it can makes me better in person.

Everything will be fine! I love my life now although it's quite busy and still need work on Sunday.

Again I am still alive!

Pressure

2009-06-24T19:03:00.001+08:00

Working with your own family is never easy.
Take over family stuff is also never easy.
Pleasing everyone is also never easy.
Being too smart is also never easy.
Having stupid people around is TOUGH!

I'm very pressure!
I have no life!

PLEASE HELP ME!

I’m lonely

2009-04-30T23:59:00.001+08:00

I just figured out that I’m all alone now, no one besides me and no one to talk to. Having no people around me I felt that I have finally lost most of my friends. I have very less social life. I’m down, emo, and felt lonely.

I have no one to share my feeling with, I feel so alone, having to give up so much to make sure other get the better one. What about me? I’m sad that no one did the same to me. I fear, fear there might nothing left for me.

I’m in need some one to be my side and hear my story and my feeling, having to hear all from everyone, I feel tired too, I might look strong from outside, but I’m still weak inside. Knowing to give out, but what I get? Taken for granted?

I’m just like sitting at the corner of the wall, drawing circle and facing the wall……

M defeated

2009-04-02T22:48:00.002+08:00

Feels defeated, should have just trash the piano. I've lost.

Lost

2009-02-16T22:06:00.002+08:00

I have lost.. lost in the middle of transition.

I used to be a person who will fight for good result.
I used to be a person who will fight for a good future.
I used to be a person who will do more than anyone.
I used to be a person who have vision and mission.
I used to be the most hardworking person in the my pool of friends.
I used to be the most outstanding player in a group.
I used to be visionary.
I used to be confident on everything I do.
I used to be not fear any problem that forced to me.
I used to be out going and don't stay at home everyday.
I used to be know how to earn money than anyone else among my friends.
I used to be not lost.
I used to have a lots of friends.
I used to have happening life and endless entertaining life.
I used to very hardworking.
I used to love exploring.
I used to have the fighting spirit.
I used to have a lot of objectives.
I used to have LIFE..............................

But it seems I am no longer what I am. I'm lost.

Off I am.

The 2009 Resolution

2009-02-09T18:06:00.004+08:00

Hahaha though I have move its not like I'm going to abandon the root of my blog right (though not really root), xanga was the first, with one post! HAHA

Resolution everyone has one and I have delayed mine til today.

1. To be fit and healty in every sense, physical and mental and cosmetically (did I use the wrong word)? Must be actively join the Cochrane Sport Club and organizes more sport activities. Practices more yoga.

2. I have thought that procrastination is the main reason year 2008 is a failure. I have thought I have told myself not to procrastinate for year 2008, but nevermind, Allan don't procrastinate! Get my thing done when I thought of it, it's effective after 1 day of experiment. LOL.

3. Learn more on I.T. stuff, spread the knowledge and develop the community for Joomla!. I have learned Javascript and next one will be

AJAX
ASP
Silverlight
Enhancement on PHP and MySQL
Basic Adobe Photoshop and Flash
Joomla! Extension Development

4. Earn more money! Not enough money, I want more, I need more, I want a lot!

5. Extend the social network available. I have too little friends it seems. Everything seems so hard with small circle of friends.

6. Be more confident on everything I do, I'm not that useless!

7. I want a life! LOL!

8. Last but not least a pretty, beautiful, smart single lady as my girlfriend!

9. Do more charity? Can I?

10. READ MORE BOOK!!!! UR INITIAL PURPOSE OF BUYING AN IPHONE IS THAT YOU CAN READ MORE BOOK!!!! DON'T GIVE EXCUSES!

That's just resolution.. I wish...

1. My family all healthy and wealthy in everything!

2. Lesser misfortune in this world.

3. My life is getting more content everyday!!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Because I have moved.

2009-02-09T17:58:00.001+08:00

No updates? This is because I have moved to here!

Jealous?

2009-01-25T03:21:00.002+08:00

Yes... Though I wish I could say I'm not.

Something that surely blow you away!

2009-01-11T15:30:00.002+08:00

Try imagine an iPod Touch with the functionality of Mac Pro. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
But the setback is USD4999. Cool right?

Year 2008 Review

2009-01-02T01:38:00.001+08:00

A year have passed and what have happened since 1/1/2008 and how it shall reflect the year 2009?

Everything passed so fast that I don’t realize that it’s already 2009, from my struggling during the same date back 365 days ago. Shall I work with my dad or shall I go out from the protection and what I think (foolishly) that helping my dad is something not so good for my future. I have completed the cycle of living outside world and now I think I’m really foolish that wasted my time one year to help other people, and now in conjunction of this blog log I’m announcing that I will start helping my dad officially today (though nothing much to do now), so if you manage to read this lengthy post, please do not ask me anymore about my job. Anyway, if you need helps in web development I guess I still can help.

A bit lost since then, when I finally get my job on my first attempt on my job search during last year. When I first got to that place, it really took away quite a lot of my expectation of my first job. It’s a very very old building with all the printing companies and factories surrounding it. No sight of white collar workers around. I feel like retreating from the interview and give whatever lame reasons for them, but I convinced myself to go up to the company to have a shot or even practice my interview.

If I remember correctly, the interview really impresses me a lot. The business development and marketing manager brag all the way and I believed all the way, while she’s also impressed with my “selling points”, she urged me to wait for the director’s call for a second interview. I waited until a few days before CNY, and have met him and again I’m so impressed with his knowledge and his pledges towards the company and how he wants it to grow and expand to America.

So I started my job since, I’m still very convinced that I chose the right company, I think it’s worthwhile to stay in a small company and learn more instead of going to the big company, learning a structural knowledge. But I can tell myself now that I’m so wrong that I chose not to join the big company and not learning their structural way of working things out. Why so? The small company is no good? I can’t say they are 100% no good, no matter what I still learned a lot of new stuff that most of my friends failed to learn. The good part is that I learned a lot of technology (and mostly is programming) be it on Open Source or Microsoft. But still… it is not what I really wants, and those who know me well know I do not like programming.

For what I praised in my previous year review (year 2007), that Hybrid module I took is a good choice for me, but now think again, it’s actually not the best choice. I ignored the fact that the world is now very much emphasize on specialization. I failed to fully specialize on programming and I fail to specialize in total management too. In other word, if I continue like this, I tend to fail in the future too!

Another hate and love affair in my 10 months of working life span in the company I joined, is that I have to learn everything by myself. Regardless it’s business process or new programming language or whatsoever stuff, and let’s be fair, the director do teach me, but it’s just not what I expect. There are too much stuff to learn in a short time and what’s more? The perfection he requires is clearly off from the range I can offer, be it I am not capable to fulfill his requirement, be it I did it on purpose, or be it I’m lazy.

For months I have drown in the “geeks” world, reading only technology articles, search only forums for solutions, and update on technology only. I have totally forgotten that what I yearn to learn is business operation, how to grow business and how to manage business. I failed to learn any from there or at least I learn how important is management towards a corporation. I learned how to be a good leader, I learned what does it mean by employees’ morale, I learn that scolding is not the only way of doing it. Which has changed how I treat people, why? Because when I see my boss, I see my own self few years back, which reminds me when I’m still in a group with Siew Wai, Thererick, and Eugene. I am totally “African-Monk” to them.

During the initial months, I passed my probation in 3 months! YES! I got a laptop from the company. YES!! (I bought an iPhone too). I got special project allowance which makes my salary goes so high, that makes me really want to stay there for long.

Everything seems so fine at there (at least until July), the environment is so friendly, I have a few colleague which really tags along. But slowly, everyone I know (when I entered to this company) has leaved the company for “ugly” reason, which I seriously think that the employers overlook it, they do not play a good role, how do they expect people to do the same? What’s more? I become the lonely bird there, waiting time pass by, even my assistant has left (sacked?), leaving me totally alone helplessly doing all the work alone.

From there I really know what is does the elderly said “Think before you speak”, it seems that my ex-employer do not really think before they speaks, the way they talk has always have “bone”, what really makes me sick and start to under-perform (on purpose or not) is when my superior accused that my assistant is not a reliable person, he’s a lazy person, and have no responsibility. If my ex-employer got to read this blog. I’m telling you now that, he’s a good person, he’s a reliable person, he’s a responsible person, he’s not someone you said. He’s the one who helped me until 3 am on his last day. If he’s not the person I believe he is, he will go off at 6 pm, what more he care about it?

What’s more? My allowance has suddenly vanished, without any official discussion. The director always said that the superior has no need to tell whatever decision he made. I think this is something that really create the uneasiness in the environment. You made no conversation with me for cutting my allowance, how do you expect me to follow you anymore? Furthermore, you said you want to take back the laptop and provide it a freelancer. I do not think I can stay with the company anymore. In addition telling me that sacking my assistant for the reason that U.S has fall into recession and client wanted to cut cost and yet hired a fresh grad within a month after my assistant left. Be it I think too much or I care too much. I do not like it.

Forcing me to understand a problematic business process and fit the customize software to the unacceptable business process and blame me for not analyzing the business process properly is always what I got to do there. The structure of the data is not even a systematic one, and using string manipulation to determine the grade is totally stupid if the string has no proper format. Requirement creeping in on each time deployment. Guess what? You don’t even know what is requirement creeping, how are you going to be a good software house? Don’t tell me what business point of view and technical point of view, but you always over look the HR point of view and the company KB point of view. You only know how to take more enhancement, and making the project running out from schedule. You miscalculate (at least from my POV).

And last but not least from the employer, you hurt my confidence in I.T, calling me to quit I.T and not to lag the industry. Well, I have struggled for a few weeks with your “advice”, and yes, I will leave I.T and continue my path in I.C.T (an uncle told me, what is I.T and I.C.T) and excel to let you see that I am capable and you shall keep back your word. I’ll prove it! I definitely will!

That’s all for the working stuff (which have occupied most of my time of 2008).

What’s love? I do not feel love for the whole year. But I do have some affection on some girls. Do I have any target? Yes, I always have affection for a few girls, and will always do (at least when I’m still single :P).

I bought a Coach for someone’s birthday. LOL. I must note down this as this is the first time I bought a Coach for someone. She’s damn happy. LOL. Are you still using it?

Skipping sleeps just to accompany someone’s birthday. Duh…

Basically after that I have no life at all, not to say to have a crush, the chances to get near a female is also limited. Due to? Work… Seriously WTF? Until recently after I quit my job, I got to get closer to someone, someone and someone. Haha I enjoyed every single moment, I’m not sure if you do? It doesn’t matter I’m tired or not, happy time spent is just worthwhile. I hope it can last though… but well… hmm… aihz… sigh…

I have go through a healthy life for the past erm… half year, 1st half of 2008 where I will practice yoga along with my mum on Sunday. But stopped around September I guess, if I’m not wrong and started an unhealthy life by eating mamak everyday for lunch and take overdose of sugar when it’s just too stress. The consequences? A belly. DAMN!

I am going to exercise more in the year 2009 and get rid of the tummy! I will I definitely will!

How about family affair? Everything is so well in the year 2008 (at least my atomic family) and would love to have a better one this year! There are some problem from maternal family side and problem starting to get solve from paternal family. See… everything is related to money, MONEY is very important to me to be able to solve all this problem, which is one of the reason why I chose to work with my dad in the year 2009. I want a happy family, I do not want to see suffering among them.

After so many complaining about the year on 2008, there are also sweet time in the bitterness. I seriously would like to thanks my ex-employer to direct me to the technology line, which now I can adapt on new technology without problem (might you planned, or not), I seriously would like to thank you.

For my parents, thank you for being so supportive.

For my siblings, be a good person in the future, don’t just play and play and play.

For myself? Cherish yourself more, more than anyone else!

Did I go to any places for vacation? Yes! I did! To MELAKA! I know, I know, I know, it might sounds so……… near for some people and you might go there even it’s just weekend.

A memorable trip, went with the U.B.i. But met some empty boasting people there. 16GB RAM in desktop =.=’’ WTF? LOL? 10k per month but CC not approve? LOL Seriously… I wanted to laugh out loud! LOL!

Temporary stop here! It’s getting late now. I better go to sleep now. I promise I will upload pictures to beautify this post! Adios!

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-01T03:44:00.000+08:00

Leave the bad back at 2008! Look forward in 2009! LOL

Something interesting

2008-12-21T16:08:00.000+08:00

Those victims of downsizing who do end up launching their own businesses will have no shortage of role models. Michael Bloomberg, Steve Jobs and Michael Dell are just a few of today’s business behemoths who were thrown out of a job at some point in their careers. Like them, some of 2009’s crop of corporate outcasts will go on to prove that triumph—and millions of newly minted jobs—can be born out of adversity.

Martin Giles: senior business correspondent, The Economist

p/s: I just love this quote. HAHA

I desperately need a life

2008-12-20T12:12:00.001+08:00

I have been wasting my time for the past week, HELP! I need a life!

I'll be back!

2008-12-18T13:21:00.002+08:00

For I have been hurt by my former employer which has lowered my spirit of self development and my ambition. Today I have a friend who tell me not to give up and continue my ambition without regret for what the past did to me. Yes I will, and I will conquer and prove him I'm better than he is.

Midnight post

2008-12-18T02:17:00.002+08:00

So I have not work for almost a week I think. I'm pretty pleased that I have leave the place I do not wish to be at. Then after almost a week, I really can't stand the boredom it brings to me. I need a decent life again.

Recently there are a lot of people around me seems to face a lot of relationship problems, I do not know how to help them or convince them that everything will be alright soon. I do accept the fact that friends really come and go, but somehow they might not come and stay forever, they might just come and hold on with you for a moment and then they go away, a different way from we all, and who knows they might come back again in some other time?

Some people is just not willing to accept this hard fact. Twist and turn, struggle with their own mind, running round and round and whatsoever which can make them to become better. There is no one can help, it's just up to ourselves. Why not we just jump out from our own perspective and look at the situation from a third party point of view? I guess life can be better if we can do so.

Have a look at what we are going thru, what will happen if we let go and what will happen if we going to be like this for long? Analyze before jumping back to our reality. I believe most of my friends are not as bad as they were now, just that some times people need to accept the reality instead, and continue with a happier life and live no regret.

For those who studying, why not concentrate on academic? For those who riding a rough journey of this "adult-world", improve on every aspect regardless in soft or hard skills. I can't say I have go thru what you all had but I just feel it's a waste for you all to spend most of our precious time in this "hard-ship", let's move on, there are still a lot of mysteries waiting us up front. Life is precious and every second is passing without waiting us.

Seeing my parents getting elder and elder everyday, I seriously felt their hardwork and their love towards the family. My dad working so hard everyday just to earn a better living for the family and send me and my siblings for a better education. My mum, take care all of us with care and use most of her time and educate us to become a better person. Sometimes I do think that without them who am I? Without them will I able to be here writing this blog with English? Without them can I get my BSc in BIT? Without them can I have a comfortable house?

Some times I do feel that people nowadays neglect their family a lot. Just like what I seen in my maternal side of family. No ones want to take care of my granny who use a lot of hardwork and love to raise some of my relatives, which she has now ended up upseting every day on what she has go thru in her leftover of her life. Guess what? In life you can choose your wife/husband, you can choose your boyfriend/ girlfriend but you can't choose your parents. Regardless they are bad or not, love you or not, cherished you or not, they are still your parents.

Friends are still friends, as I believed that there might not be friends forever, whoever s/he is, no matter how good they are, regardless we are sworn brothers or not, we are just living in a cruel world and I do believe people are selfish. Worst come to worst, you will get betrayed, or they might ignore you when you need help. Now where is our "Mother Mary"? Yes, our "Mother Mary" is waiting us at home, always welcoming us back to their shelther and protect us as always.

Of course there are good friends that you can trust, but just that how many will do so? I believe it mostly less than five or even three or even none. What can I say anymore? I think I running out from this topic. Just continue living my dear friends, life is just beautiful. Live Life Cool! It's time to move on!

Sign off now to bed. Nights

Bad day it seems, but I believe my future is bright

2008-12-09T22:08:00.001+08:00

Met some crazy driver and got some un-eventful rumour on work place, prejudicing is not a good thing to do..

What happen when u can't use ur iPhone as phone?

2008-11-28T23:43:00.001+08:00

Use it as an Internet device where u use to blog and update facebook and web surfing? Haha

A quite interesting article

2008-11-25T09:27:00.000+08:00

SAN JOSE, Calif. — At Super Micro Computer, cartons of parts are often stacked in the parking lot, exposed to the elements. The 15-year-old computer maker has grown to 850 employees but still tracks orders the old-fashioned way, relying on sales representatives to monitor each step from assembly to shipping.

On Saturdays, a family-style lunch is served to workers as a token of thanks for workdays that can stretch to 15 hours.

And Charles Liang, the company’s co-founder and chief executive, obsesses over every detail of the business, from approving the custom orders that are the company’s specialty to dictating the environmentally themed, green neckties that executives wear to customer meetings.

Despite its peculiarities, Super Micro is a thriving, publicly traded business that sells about $600 million a year of servers to the likes of eBay and Yahoo. More often than not, the company beats rivals to market by three to six months, offering the fastest, most compact, energy-efficient computers to demanding corporate and institutional customers. It has managed to post annual sales growth exceeding 20 percent in recent years, and its stock has outperformed competitors like Rackable Systems and Sun Microsystems.

Super Micro reflects the passion and quirks of Mr. Liang, an immigrant from Taiwan, who is considered so vital to the operation that the company warns investors in regulatory filings that his loss could derail the company’s business, culture and strategic direction.

“He is the person who approves and looks at everything the company is doing — every new product, marketing effort, sales effort, anything you want to do or promote,” said Scott Barlow, who was manager of American sales at Super Micro before leaving to join Salesforce.com. “He is kind of a one-man show.”

Current and former employees describe Mr. Liang with reverence that borders on the cultish. “It’s almost as if Charles wills things to happen,” said Don Clegg, a vice president. “If he says a product will be on schedule, it will be on schedule. This is not driven on fear. It’s driven on belief.”

At the heart of everything Super Micro are two principles: give customers what they want, and do it as fast as humanly possible.

Whereas rivals long ago sent key design work to Asia to take advantage of cheaper, plentiful labor, Super Micro still relies on hundreds of expensive engineers working at its San Jose headquarters. These workers are charged with grabbing the latest and greatest components from suppliers and coming up with new designs months ahead of lumbering heavyweights like Hewlett-Packard and Dell.

“As an individual, Charles is very aggressive and motivated,” said Patrick P. Gelsinger, Intel’s senior vice president in charge of server chips. “Every once in a while, he appears on the verge of reckless, but if you’re going up against the big guys, you have to be willing to take risks.”

The company has become the lead manufacturer that Intel uses for showcasing new products, and rivals often relabel and ship systems built by Super Micro until they can come up with their own designs that accommodate the latest chips. “They are ready to move and move quick,” Mr. Gelsinger said.

Super Micro’s quick turnaround times and sophisticated products have allowed it to grab some loyal and large customers, like the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, which purchases tens of thousands of servers each year.

“We’re usually trying to buy the latest and greatest stuff, and they typically have new technology first,” said Mark Seager, head of advanced computing at the lab. “This helps us maximize the bang for our buck.”

In order to produce gear at such a quick clip, Super Micro asks a lot of its workers. It’s quite common for employees to arrive just after 7 in morning and stay until 10 p.m., coming in on weekends as well. Mr. Liang himself regularly works seven days a week, saying “every hour is a happy hour, or least every day is a happy day.”

Mr. Liang has run the firm alongside his wife and company treasurer, Chiu-Chu Liu, known as Sara, since it started as a five-person operation in 1993.

The insular, family-run approach is typical of traditional Chinese business culture, said AnnaLee Saxenian, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who has studied immigrant-run businesses in Silicon Valley. “It echoes back to a very traditional Chinese business model, where you have the family-run farm,” she said. “It’s all about trust and how you save money.”

One of Super Micro’s main Taiwanese manufacturing partners, Ablecom, is run by Mr. Liang’s brother, Steve Liang. Charles Liang and his wife own close to 31 percent of Ablecom, while Steve Liang and other members of the family own close to 50 percent.

Regulatory filings show that “a substantial majority” of Ablecom’s sales come from Super Micro. And while Super Micro pays most suppliers within 81 days, it will sometimes take up to 118 days to pay Ablecom, which houses components and regularly renegotiates prices with Super Micro.

“There are some funky, inter-family ownership questions that I would prefer didn’t exist,” said Alex Kurtz, a securities analyst with Merriman Curhan Ford, though he praised the company for disclosing a fair amount about the relationship.

Super Micro has some other rough edges, too. The lack of order-tracking software forces sales representatives to spend valuable time making sure systems are built and shipped, and they often squabble over who owns particular accounts.

The company’s poor controls also contributed to its violation of a United States embargo against the sale of computer systems to Iran. In 2006, Super Micro pleaded guilty to a felony charge and paid a $150,000 fine.

“We were a new company and didn’t know every regulation,” Mr. Liang said. “Now, we are well trained and watch over this 24 hours a day.” Mr. Liang added that Super Micro was improving its order-tracking system and might consider purchasing process management software.

Despite the global economic slump, Super Micro could enjoy a sales spurt over the next few months as Intel and Advanced Micro Devices release new server processors and the company races to design machines that use them to full advantage, according to analysts.

And those green ties? At Mr. Liang’s request, sales representatives wear them to meetings as a symbol of the company’s energy-conserving hardware. Text on the ties boasts that Super Micro’s products are “earth friendly” and lead to nothing less than “better life.”

From NYT.

What I have been to?

2008-11-22T20:53:00.002+08:00

Ok.. I resigned on Thursday. Let's accept that both party can't take it anymore. I can't stand it anymore. What's more? I do believe my future lies beyond the current one. I do believe I deserve better than now. I want more than now, I want a better and happier life than now. I want more self satisfaction, self motivation, self achievement or whatsoever it shall be. Yes, I'm selfish. So what? That's what my nature from the start.. DONE! Let's move on........

O.K. back to more personal stuff :P

The new spec is just not that comfortable to wear, I bought a new spec today :P Gonna get a few pairs sooner or later :P

My physical & mental is quite exhausted, I think I need a break before I can continue anything. What's my plan for the year end? Definitely is to renovate my room,

I need a;

1. Book shelves
2. A decent table
3. A decent bed
4. LCD perhaps ? :P

Hahaha that's just furniture, I further need a

1. 14" Laptop
2. A watch (so long since my last wish list, yet I can't get it.. DAMN)
3. A Sony W300
4. A Sony Ericsson XPERIA X1
5. Another external HDD.
6. A server

Anyone going to sponsor me? Oh yea I need a reading chair too...... Sponsor anyone?

Everything goes smoothly when you are happy :)

2008-11-16T18:33:00.002+08:00

I believe that whenever people are happy, they tend to do things smoothly and the result will be good. I am not pretty sure why, but that's the fact man. Rarely you will get something bad when you are happy.

Sometimes it is better for people to not to spoil the mood for everything, happy is the "Key". Some people might thinks that people grow along with pressure. But for me.. I think people grow with good pressure, not tense pressure. I don't have any scientific facts or whatsoever support for this post. But personally I do think that happy is the key factor for everything.

Last time when I was in a group working with my course mates, I used to give heavy tense pressure to them. It will not work, everything will not work. I might think that it's for the team good, but I did not think from their point of view. Project submitted, but morale of the team fall to the bottom line. Losing the team morale is simply sucks especially when I know team work is what really will make thing run smoother.

You might be the king of the world, the most brilliant person in the world, but without people helping you, you are just a piece of shit. You won't be able to do anything. Sometimes there are this term which I don't understand "specialize", I used to think that why should I specialize? The more I know the better, but somehow I don't deny it, I still not that specialize myself. But somehow specialized post has their role to play. Things will still fail when you put someone not good in cooking at the kitchen, but if s/he good in beverage, put s/he in the bar, you will see the result.

Put the right person to the right position. Make them happy, don't ask what they can give you, give them what they need, they will give you what you want. I do believe so.... At least I am still believe it now :)

Friday =.= Gone case..

2008-11-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

Since when I have started to go out on Friday night? Since I'm 17 year-old, every Friday is my night, I go out yam cha and have fun with my friends. How many years since then? 23 - 17 = 6.

6 YEARS man! And today I have to stay til 12 am just to bloody demo to the client.. How could I spend my night waiting for client at U.S. for the bloody demo?

duh.......

Fuck!

2008-11-09T19:14:00.000+08:00

God Damn It! My iPhone got pawned! DAMN DAMN. Fucking frustrated man!

When you don't know what to blog..

2008-10-23T00:35:00.003+08:00

What am I doing now? Sitting in front of my Dell PC watching latest HK series. Thinking back what I have did this month, I just can find one word for it, "over-spent". LOL.

What have I spent? I spent on Justin's Air Concert tickets for two (RM250), then service my car for the trip (RM630), renew PM's license (RM140), renew company license (RM170), father's birthday present (RM320), some one's birthday cake (RM50). I am fucking broke now.

So what I have missed out? I miss out a lot a lot of photo. Let me try and upload the some of the photos :P

But it just failed. Damn pissed off man!

Guess after so long I am still thinking of her? WTF? Shall I or shall I not? I am not pretty sure.

How about work? I am not pretty sure how's the condition too, all I know now is the company already a MSC company. Will I get increment? I doubt so.. I have no idea where is this company direction is heading too. From the uncertainty of this company gives me, I have come up with some of my stupid idea. I have decided to pick up as much as possible before quitting the job, though I know I get to learn quite a bit of stuff there but the thing is I am just not as happy as the beginning of work.

I am still trying to upload the pics I taken using various camera. But the connection just failed me. Pissed x 2.

Holidays is coming soon..... But I don't feel the happiness. Why le? I'm so in doubt for my future.

p/s: I have no idea what the fuck im blogging right now.. bleh.. off la..

I-also-dont-know-what-this-post-is-for

2008-10-09T10:43:00.002+08:00

Ok.. I'm now at office sitting in front of my laptop waiting for my colleague to finish his task before we can continue the next one. Now I know the feeling of my boss when it comes to me back then. Now I know why he's so frustrated when I can't deliver the task assigned to me.

It might be an easy job for him, and I just can't get it right or shall I say I'm lacking of fast pace and IQ to solve the problem? Yesterday he has enlighten me for the programming world. And it is true that I have no enough experience to lead a project. True enough! He has assigned my colleague under my control and assigning work to him to complete the project.

I am totally frustrated with this colleague of mine due to all his messy work, which really irritate me a lot! Seriously, once there are changes in the program, it's like doing a big overhaul for the project. I'm dying! Seriously! I can't stand the way he do things anymore. I always wonder how he learn programming in UTAR.

For those from APIIT and you come across my blog, we are much fortunate to have APIIT to educate us in a more proper way of programming. OOP is a very very very good programming way. Structural is a suckiest way to do programming.

From now on, I must plan a good program structure which require the minimum changes for whatever requirement change or stuff like this. (peek on colleague, shake head... and he's now reading entertainment news paper, typical chinese culture. ). I vow to stand up and learn more and more knowledge on IT before flying away from this "working-for-12-hour-with-not-so-smart-colleague" kind of environment.

Sign off!

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin

2008-10-01T18:04:00.002+08:00

Today is a very good day. All the malay I saw today is witha smiling face and humble attitude. I do think if this continue our country will become more and more prosper. No racism, no discrimination, no seperation of color ski, will bring a brighther future for us and for our next generation.

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin!!

Are you one of the one I mentioned below?

2008-09-29T23:50:00.003+08:00

I have this feeling that I hate hypocrite. Who doesn't?

I just hate people poking my back in front of other people. Oh please. If you don't like me then stay away from me. Not poking me in front of my friends. You see, I have tried not to mention anyone's problem and I tend to stay away from other people complex friendship or relationship or what-so-ever-ship. If you are not happy with this attitude. Well. I think you are just plain selfish and childish. I like Chinese idioms, especially this;

祸从口出

For those who don't know Chinese let me help you translate using Yahoo translate

祸从口出 = Careless talk makes trouble.

I have no idea if you have no good feeling over me or something but if it really so then we have to always ask ourselves if we have did something wrong? Well I can proudly say.. I did nothing wrong.. I have no idea if you have any. All I know is that stop poking people.

RESPECT PEOPLE IF YOU WANT PEOPLE RESPECT YOU.

That's all. Night everyone.

Hari Raya coming~~

2008-09-27T01:46:00.001+08:00

Yes it's middle of the night now. I guess I just like to post entry during the night time?

Hahahahahaha

Hari raya is coming and I got holidays from Wednesday til Monday. Date me anyone?

Good morning Saturday

2008-09-20T09:41:00.004+08:00

It's Saturday morning and I am now in the office slacking my way to 1:00 p.m. I hope the next hour is 1 p.m. Why? Hahaha I just want some rest and get rid of this office environment. Yes, I have complained quite a bit on this office. Mainly because I can't blend well or can't 100% mixed with the people around I guess. Probably it's my problem. But don't get into that.

O.K. I just want to be responsible to my blog and make a proper entry.

Most of the time, I mean during these missing days, I have been working working and working on the project assigned to me. Usually I get back to my home around 8 something night. Yes, 8 something. It is really really tiring and I can't stop complaining about the tireless and lifeless kind of feeling struck on me recently. Sometimes I just wish to get home at 6 and have a nice dinner with family and take an early bath and enjoy the rest of my night watching some series? Well... I just hardly have this kind of life for the month due to the implementation of the project which is held last night?

Oh yea.. If you all realize that I am no longer online during the time and hardly see me online anymore? YES. It has been blocked from the office.

~~So... what's my life is right now? Any gf?~~

No don't have any. Tried to date a girl but our style is just way too different? We can have conversation but our style is just different. Imagine a Avril & Clay Aiken? That's totally out of frame.... Hahaha but let's see how it goes.

Alicia has not update her blog for quite some time due to her work and her hectic schedule. So can this sifu request on new update?

Money wise.. I think I would rather keep some of it. As everyone knows what's going to happen soon, and no matter how big is the gold mine is, it will finish too... it's just the matter of sooner or later.

K la.. back to work. Got task assigned d. Taz

Midnight Post

2008-09-20T02:28:00.002+08:00

Been damn hectic these week. Not sure what I do for all these hectic life.

After getting few days of thinking, I have started to learn that a person without EQ and IQ hardly survive or I shouldn't say that survive. I shall say excel in life.

I have been thinking what can I do with my current skill... Can I run my own business? Can I get a lot of money?

I guess.. my skill is not that good yet. To survive in IT? To excel in IT? I fairly impossible with my current skill when I come across with all the stuff I have never really thought of..

So I have decided to continue upgrading myself in IT first.. before stepping it to other path way.. I know it's a hard way. I know how to talk about great plan, but non of it succeed so far. I have brilliant ideas, but non of it seems to be feasible when put it to run.

What's the meaning of just talking and without doing? It's just plain useless. Not to further mention that I failed to handle my paternal family problem which I promised myself to handle it. I am just plain useless and lazy.

Some people might think enjoying now is a good choice. Though I do think somehow we need to enjoy ourselves. But somehow.. I felt I have been wasting my time.. As mentioned a lot of times to myself.

Time and tide wait for no one.

I believe this world do have karma. I wonder why... These buzzing sound always talk bad behind people? It's very true that

"When everyone start to avoid you, you shall think it is you are the root of all problem?"

Well I guess so.... I am now 23, I do believe friends are just friends. I do believe there's nothing like eternal brother. I will not say that people do not like me and if they do not like me, I will think is it because of myself? What I did wrong? Did I do the same thing to them b4? I do not want to be a childish boy.

Any way.. It is time to grow up.

Be a mature guy. Let's continue our journey of life!

Tomorrow is a better day! Oh yea! My client is quite happy with the solution implemented. But somehow changes are inevitable. Nitex!

I have decided

2008-09-01T19:28:00.002+08:00

Yes, I have decided. Just give me another six month to build what is necessary for myself, yes I am bloody selfish. Whatsoever. I don't mind. I don't want to do what I do not wish or hoped for.

What am I doing?

2008-08-28T13:14:00.003+08:00

It seems that I have neglected my blog, and promises are not fulfilled yet. www.allanchoong.com is still not up and so.

Recently I am not really happy with my working environment. I need to wake up early in the morning to rush back to work and work til late night. It's just lifeless.

I am not sure if this will benefit me or not. The feeling has come back again asking me what am I doing right now?

Sigh..

CONVO!!!

2008-08-16T02:22:00.001+08:00

YES!!!! TOMORROW IS THE DAY I HAVE WAITED FOR 23 YEARS!!!

I will post every pic i take, that's my promise!

Time

2008-08-09T02:02:00.000+08:00

There's a lot of stuff I wanted to do, but there are so little time for myself.

What can I do?

Pissed

2008-08-07T22:12:00.002+08:00

Yes I am pretty pissed now.

If you have no confidence in my skill then don't let me handle that stuff.
I don't live based on that little task! Stop bugging me on this stupid stuff.
I help because I still treat you as friend. To help you but you doubt my skill then sorry. I'm not going help anymore.

Being a good fella is not always an option.

Pizzed!

Road safety?

2008-07-20T22:27:00.002+08:00

I wonder if people nowadays at road still know how to respect the road safety..
1. People whose car has no third brake light shall not drive on the road.
2. Youngster who think you are like too-fast-too-furious Paul Walker, do you think your car can fly? Back to the earth won't you?
3. Get you yourself know what is HID. White color light is not HID.

Haihz....

I am very happy and yet very disappointed with the respond I get

2008-07-17T22:21:00.001+08:00

I am happy for finishing the 85% of the farking thing within 4 days, I am disappointed that he gives me a perception that seems I am still lacking, in fact it has fasten up to 2 weeks.

Sad case...

Shall I?

2008-06-25T22:48:00.001+08:00

It's really boring to have a routine life, it's boring to have no partners, I might start searching again..

Being a good boss

2008-06-16T09:22:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I think it's pretty easy to be a boss and yes it is indeed very easy. But it is very hard to be a good boss. From my working environment I can see two type of bosses. One is the "Chinaman" boss and another is "Modernized Boss". I pretty believe that people nowadays have different mindset and people need freedom to perform their best at work.

I'm not sure why there are still perception that "if you are not doing your job then you are not working" kind of thinking. It's pretty.................. unacceptable (at least for me). Seriously, to think of it, one might get inspired from the non-working related material and might boost their working moral and their performance too.

Being too calculative with your employees too gonna cost you a lot. Serious. Sometimes I think it's better to give more benefit to the employees and they will be more dedicated with their work and help you a lot more. Hahaha well that's my opinion, and that's what I see from my boss and my boss gf (who also is a boss). Old times bosses shall change in order to success...

Father Forgets

2008-06-14T02:41:00.004+08:00

Ok.. In conjunction of fathers' day... I come up with one post.

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guilty I come to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, form a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing buy a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

By W. Livingston Larned

It's just................................ heart touching article....................

Something really spoilt the mood

2008-06-12T09:17:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time since last update, a bit waste letting my blog rot here,

Nevertheless I just want to share something to everyone.

I wonder why people here (around me) will look like damn "not-my-type" of people. Today my mood is kinda good, and I expect it's a good day coming. But hey......... things happen

Whenever I step into my office, there's this fella always give the "dulan" face, always telling people that she's not feeling to work... Well... Go home sleep then.... don't come and give the face to people. This kind of people will just spoil the whole environment. Seriously!

What's more important than a start up mood? Stop complaining you earn less and bla bla bla all the shit you can't get due to your incapability. I don't feel the "closeness" among my friend last time. Whatever is norm for me is like "WAH-WOW-Factor" for them...... I'm just being back myself, duh!? You don't want to upgrade yourself then that's your problem what.. I will not stay at the middle class life or whatsoever they call it.. I'm not criticizing the middle class or whatever .. But I do have my own life, I do enjoy chasing the life I want, I will improve, I do read books, I do improve my knowledge, and the list continue....

You may say I'm rich guy which with his brag, but I consider myself as a moderate guy, I guess they just have not see people spending worst than me. Come on!!! People spend what they earn, and that's their freedom. They are capable and don't envy them, don't jealous, you also can do that you see.. It's just that you always think that you can't that's why you can't.

OK hahaha time to go back to work..

Hehehe just want to release some "bad" stuff that I can't let off at anywhere :P

Another Rant

2008-05-29T09:11:00.002+08:00

This is a short one though, nothing much but I find that sometimes people are just selfish! Don't you think so? I do think so! END!!

Rant of the Day

2008-05-27T21:02:00.002+08:00

Today is definitely not one of my day, I take my leave to help my dad for some shit matter, which has been bothering the whole family for quite sometimes. I can tell one thing about it, do not involved yourself with government shit, they are seriously very troublesome and some of it seriously do not really help you, yet they acclaimed they are the professional in handling it. Just like shit. I have been trying to get reach to this officer for almost a month! SERIOUSLY ONE MONTH! All they do is pass me from one extension to another extension. To be precise, they do not know which matter shall direct to which extension. What's more? The officer always claim that they are not free, I wonder what are they doing until they have no time to answer a call... I think Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are more free than her...

Got back to APIIT to clarify with them about the result.. As usual they will tell you one thing during the orientation and another thing during the assignment period and another thing during the final result. I failed to get 1st class though my average is 75% above, they tell me that my mark falls under Second Upper, due to my best 60 is just 12.75... =.=''''' They never told me that during the orientation and bla bla bla! DUH!! What's more I can do? SHIT them for my sake! Bad management! Bad management!

And when I'm home when I thought of installing everything and update everything from Microsoft. And when installing SP3, HAH CATCHA! Corrupt my whole Windows, WTF!? Spent 2 hours to repair and end up eating Ginkgo. DAMN U! What's more? Reformat lo! DAMN!

-End of Rant-

DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!

What I feel about China Sichuan Earth Quake..

2008-05-17T21:16:00.006+08:00

I know my blog has little people reading.. and of course there are only a few people who are close to me read this.. but I hope everyone who read this can spread what I express myself here by either copy and paste or create another article just like this.

Recently I was quite busy with my work and unable to catch up any news around me, til one day my mum told me that Myanmar had a cyclone disaster, the death toll has raised around 78,000 life. We shall be very grateful that our country Malaysia is free from deathly natural disaster. Nothing much seen from the disaster... not much pictures not much information about there.. but then I did donated RM200 for them.

And a day after donating the money... another news come. This time it's China province Sichuan, I thought it's just a normal quake. But after a few days.. I know this is the worst ever disaster happened in China for the past three decades. Have you seen all the people there grieving for the death of their death child? For their dead husband or wife? For their dead parents? For their dead grand parents? Not to mention about your boyfriend or girlfriend.. Not even about your friends... They don't even have the time to think all about their money, house, damaged properties..

See? These people has just not able to express their feeling of sadness. All he knows and able to do is to cry for their dead family member..

Can you imagine that's your brother? I'd imagine.... I'm so helpless..... I have no idea what can I do..

A lovely girl..... gone through all the suffering and has exchanged her face for her life....... Can you feel her? I only able to feel she felt hopeless... Nothing can be done.... I really feel the "sour" in my heart.

What if the injured lady is your mummy? I cry when thinking of that....................... I'm not sure how can I live on..... If it's really happen to me..

Have you ever thought of how good and how lucky we are staying here in Malaysia? Yet I see many people complaining how bad how worse is Malaysia. They always claim that Malaysia is hopeless, but let's see again. Do you think our land is the best place to live in? At very least we escaped any earth quake, cyclone, heavy rain, heavy snow, and no tsunami. What's more we can complain more? Even I give you a million now, and all your family member are dead. Are you happy? Can you live on?

With China's one child for a family. Now their child is dead............... They have no one else to accompany them for the rest of their life....

This sobbing man is hoping that her daughter can recover from her unconsciousness, can you see how these innocent child taken away from the cruelty of natural disaster? They have no mercy at all. No tolerance at all............

Do I need to say more?

For those who always waste their food..... Please read the sentence below the above picture...

If you can't see... I'll re-type it...

"A girl sleeping in her father's arms holds an egg after walking more than ten hours to the safest area, May 16, 2008 in Dujiangyan, one of the hard-hit cities, of Sichuan, China."

People are still complaining Kuala Lumpur has nothing to eat... be grateful that we are now full in stomach.

Next Monday is wesak day, let's pray for the dead... May them rest in peace. Most importantly please DONATE to these victim of natural disaster. Please........... Even RM1.00 count. Why are we not able to donate to these people while we can spend RM1,000.00 for a trip, spend RM1,500.00 for a phone or camera? Spend RM1,500.00 for paying up loan for our car loan? Can't we spend for them too? I'm donating RM500.00 already. Please help. Donate for these poor people. They need our help desperately....................

Please copy and paste or write an article to encourage people to donate for these poor victim...

Disclaimer: I wrote this without receiving pay from any organization and all the images are taken from New York Times website without permission.

The HTML code of this article can be downloaded here

iPhone~~~~ and Random Post

2008-05-17T17:53:00.008+08:00

Hahaha I bought an iPhone!!

LOL Though very late post, at least I post! I think it's almost 3 weeks now. Firstly it's awesome, then I find it troublesome, then I like it once again :P

1. I find it's awesome because it has only one button and everything is touch screen! Isn't that cool!? You tell me.. how many phone out there got such function? And most importantly I got it cheap! Very Cheap! Tell me what kind of phone you can get for RM 1354? Mostly are just lousy low end phone. Correct? Even the shaker phone from SE cost around RM1.4k.

2. I find it troublesome because it has too little function by default and you have to install every single thing for additional function. That's............ troublesome. Of course it lack of quite a bit of functions such as 3G, 2nd camera for video call, and cannot forward sms (of course there are quite a bit more) bla bla bla

3. I love it because it's really cool and after I installed all the additional function, it rocks!!! LOL Imagine watch CJ7 on iPhone, cool right? LOL IM on iPhone, cool right? EXTREMELY COOL!

It's it cool? Cool right? LOL I took these pic with my old phone S700i. And now my beloved S700i is not has become my alarm. HAHA a RM2.2k alarm phone (before depreciate) .

Yesterday was my company annual dinner and we have the dinner at Shangri La hotel, Lemon Garden Cafe. Quite nice I have to say, but not as nice as Gen Japanese Restaurant.

The restaurant: Lemon Garden Cafe

I feel that I leng zai d! LOL

The admin clerk at my office, was actually wanted to capture the environment instead

This is how it looks like, outside is even nicer! Very romantic.

The yummy seafood! I like the prawn there! juicy!

You may go try but I say it's just not worth the price we paying for.. but since boss paying who cares?

Some of the random pic from iPhone, hehe

What else? At the same place doing the same thing lo..

Isn't she's cute? HAHAHA

What have I did? Rounding?

2008-05-13T21:07:00.002+08:00

It almost three months since working, what have I gain from working there? Do I really want to do programming? I am lost actually, it might be true like how he says, I do need to learn from ground up but then how long more can I sustain?

Today he shows me another great portfolio resume, he's two year elder than me, but have tonnes of experience that I don't have! Whatever you can think of, he has it. That really motivate me to surpass him in 2 year?

Nothing to crap more....

first post from iPhone

2008-04-28T19:06:00.001+08:00

101 Post! HAHA

2008-04-26T02:31:00.002+08:00

WAHAHA My blog went up to 101st post!

YEAH YEAH YEAH

How was today? It's a................................................................ below average day.

Suppose to think that web development is an easy job, but it's a hell no... What's more with the upcoming project? I'm a little lost track.. I feel so incapable since losing the very first client and unable to finish the first project handled by me.

For a person who hate to lose like me, this isn't something that will makes me happy. What can I do? I also don't know man.. It's just plain...... hard to accept. B4 this I thought I can finish every job up to quality but it's always sub quality. I just can't take it anymore. I need to upgrade my working quality.

I vow to help my dad in administration but yet.. I have not start..

I vow to continue my FYP but I procrastinate...

I vow to finish my task properly.. but I failed..

But I am no failure! I will bounce back and face the up coming challenge.

Sometimes I wonder if it's because the environment that has weaken me? Or I am just plain lazy? Sometimes I do think that my physical health is a contraint.. I am just giving myself too much reasons!

I'LL BE BACK!!! I WILL FIND A SOLUTION! FOR SURE!

Today is a gloomy day

2008-04-21T22:11:00.004+08:00

Today..... is a not-so-wonderful-or-rather-bad day... Received an e-mail from this client who think his money is so fucking great. Doubting my ability is not a good thing to do for anyone in the world. I thought United State people are more understanding, but the very first time when I deal with American just gave me a i-am-a-kiasu-american feel.

There are many people just don't understand how I.T. works, client however shall give a reasonable timing for development team, it's not you want it then it will be there, as many many research in this world and corporate, requirement creeping is no good.

Communication and understanding of each other work is very important. While this client already put his gf in the position to handle everything in the development. Then please do not bother. While he has been reading all the carbon copy email in our communication, that does not mean he knows 100% of the content shall represent.

It's really demoralizing when it comes to client who will demand refund? for a unfinished project which has a lot of requirement creeping. Being a big shot in other industry doesn't mean that you are good in I.T. too, knowing a lil bit of web creation skill doesn't mean that you know everything in I.T. development! Maybe that's what we always think "orang kasar" don't know what is I.T.

Malas nak cakap dah.. bodoh punya client

Opsss no updates recently?

2008-04-19T20:25:00.002+08:00

It's a very busy week since boss left to U.S. Handling requirement creeping is certainly not a thing that every software developers like. So do I, and more importantly it is not a good thing to have a client who don't even know anything about I.T. and want to everything in super high-tech and low price. It will not be a good day for you when they think the changes they want can be done in a few clicks... How naive is people nowadays? So my dear client.. don't expect to see any changes til Monday as I still want to spend my weekend nicely, quietly and joyfully :P

Why everyone who see my phone says I shall change my phone? Seriously My SE S700i serves me well you see, it's a LEGENDARY phone! Maybe it's because the housing looks like shit. Hmm... What can I do? I don't want to spend RM300 for a original housing. And I'm getting tired of people telling me my dearest phone plain old and fugly! I know I know everyone has their nice phone.. how many pixels, how many GIGs, how good what good, nah...... My next phone gonna pawn yours! LOL! My new phone is coming soon! Very Soon!

9 Days and counting!

It's gonna be another LEGENDARY babe!

Sometimes I wonder if I'm still slow in learning things, but sometimes I think I am fast but the thing is I think I'm slow sometimes.. I shall gear up I guess.... Nevertheless.. I learned a lot of things since I start working. And I realised that APIIT subject is just plain useless at some point, it's still how capable u can adapt to the pace of the technology and soft skills is bloody important too.

What degree I get? Second Upper but my aggregate is 75.5% I'm gonna bising on next Wednesday at APIIT. You beware APIIT!!!!! I nak robohkan APIIT! Anyway please please don't go APIIT, it's just plain stupid college who collecting money from student and their "import" seriously are messing with its name.

2008-04-08T23:03:00.002+08:00

YAWN......

Nothing to update...

K la.. just kidding,

Where have I been recently? While all the time I am at office learning new things. I wonder if the biggest fears I predicted last time has really come true, actually this scenario has also brought me into my BIT course. But nevertheless I believe I have made all my decision correctly. Even after entering Juz-IT, though it is small, but I do learn freaking lots of new IT stuff that never have a chance to come across last time. I'm like losing my social life le.. everyday after work will just go home, it's very very very very bored! I think I shall come with something new! HOHOHO

Today I went to the Microsoft 2008 product launching event, pictures? Don't have le.. Allan has a pariah phone and paiseh to take it out to show everyone :P Microsoft is seriously damn geng! You will not able to imagine what things they wanted to do with the IT market. I personally think they are trying to take over the whole IT industry.

How about my co? Hahaha there will be changes after April, more and more people will come in, and I will get the position I desired. Feasible or not? I'm not sure, but as usual, "If you think you can, you can!" Now I'm thinking of getting a new laptop, shall I? Or shall I not? Boss is going to US, shall I ask him to get me an iPhone or shall I wait for the iPhone with firmware 2.0?

HOW HOW HOW?

Let's don't think that much.. I think I shall go sleep now and have a better tomorrow! :P

Bye!

Thank her, I need to update, HAHA else spider web will be around :P

2008-03-25T22:50:00.002+08:00

List out the top 5 presents you wish for:

All new Mazda 3, regardless the old model or upcoming model
All new Sony Ericsson XPERIA X1
A brand new laptop with 4GB of RAM
A nice watch, Swiss made :P
A super workstation with full multimedia support

The person who tagged me is ABC

Your 5 impressions of her:

My ex
Emo-sial
Sometimes mature, sometimes not :P
FFK-queen :P
But she's nice la, kind hearted though :P

The most memorable words she said to you
Er..... can't recall.... Abby ada tak?

If she becomes your lover, you will
loves her tenderly

If she becomes your enemy, the reason will be
did something stupid

Pass the quiz to 5 peoples that you wish to know how they feel about you:

1. Who is No 1 having relationship with?
Entah... dia banyak gfs :P

2. Who is No 4 having relationship with?
Tan Sri also have a lot of women :P

3. If No 3 and No 2 are together, will it be a good thing?
WAHAHHA two persons will be very very very sad case WAHAHA

4. What about No 4 and No 5?
Jee Wang and Jia Wen, good combination JW JW!

5. What is No 3 studying?
UCTI lo.. (don't go.. ngak chin one)

6. When is the last time you chatted with No 5?
CNY? And now she's gone.. don't know where, MIA!

7. Does No 4 work?
Yea, Silverlake somemore Tan Sri memang Tan Sri.

8. Do you have any cousin in his/her own school?
Don't know la..

9. Will you be with No 1?
That's gay! Get you the pics next time :P We do get together!

10. How about No 5?
HAHAHAHA no gua..

11. Does No 2 have any siblings?
Got, she always complain about him

12. How did you get to know about No 2 and No 4?
Both also classmate :P No. 2 is Protege No. 4 is Tan Sri JW

13. Where does No 1 live at?
Somewhere at Shah Alam lo.. Semi D I think..

14. How did you get to know No 3?
Long story, adventurous and funny! LOL

15. Is No 5 the sexiest person in the world?
No way! BoA is sexier!

Then I sun pin blog mai here la..

What I have been doing for the past few days? Seriously other than going work and coming back home, nothing else involved.

OK it's a lie!

Last week, when I thought of going out for a movie with Chee Hoe along with few friends but a lot ppl can't make it, so I called it off. It's a dead boring holiday OK!?! Sigh... what to do? No friends already, end up cleaning my house again. The good things is that, IT'S VERY SPACIOUS HERE NOW! LOL!

Friday was a buffer day, where I spent most of my time in office sitting in front of PC doing nothing other than figuring how to make the RokFlow works.. Sigh.. Then my boss (Kevin) asked if I need a reference? *Of course I need one!* But he was too busy to build one for that day, so he asked me to wait for his mail over the weekend, but....... NO Mail?!? HAHA So I don't care la.. continue relax a bit..

Saturday went to meet this Mr. Gavin to bring me to make spec, and bloody hell him! Make me waited for an hour! If it's not because the place is cheap! I won't even bother to wait him. =.=''

Another sad case is that, THE SHOP didn't open! DAMN U! End up going out with him to Low Yat Plaza to help me get his external HDD and printer, (At last!! For so fucking long!) Then help another friend buy an external card reader, since I'm there, of course me too get something la! I got myself INK, yes INK!

Sunday is not a good day for me..... No mood for the whole fucking day! DAMN! Skip it!

Monday? The first time I OT til 1040, wait for boss til 1100 pm before driving home. HAHA It's also the first day I have dinner with my boss too, he's a really nice guy! Serious! Though sometimes his expectation a bit high, but who cares :P I am capable! His gf even more capable, at the age of 24.5, has become 2 small companies' business development head. Sigh.. If only I am as capable as her. And guess what? She asked me to follow Kevin to meet up the MASB (Malaysia Accounting Standards Board) president! WOOHOO gotta go out tomorrow!

Also today is the first time I wear formal to my office excluding the time going interview la.. Around afternoon, we go off to MASB old office, somewhere near Tunes Hotel. Waited the president Dr. Nordin, for half hour? That's big shot! Either you wait for me, or you go away.. And I think we get the MASB website! WAHAHAHHA Lucky Lucky! They seriously don't have any sense of user interface, they judge only by their first instinct, nevertheless, they all are quite nice clients. They won't be any arrogant to us, it's a good trip! Looking forward for more trip like this :P

Anyway... I might change to wordpress as I can install my own website without using their! Let me consider a bit if I want to use wordpress. It will be fully functional site if I change to wordpress! Shall I or shall I not?

Hello from JuzIT Part 3

2008-03-18T09:26:00.002+08:00

Hahaha my blog now has filled with dust.... been neglected them for quite some times, I'm now at office, of course I'm typing this when my boss is not around.

How's life? It seems everyone also been busy and have not updating their blog frequently, even the royalshortness too, got his job! LOL Congraz~!!!!! No more Jobless title on MSN nick!

How am I doing at office, as usual lo, whoever who has programming subject in college will know it's just a never ending learning process in programming world, furthermore it is not an easy job to make a fully functional and nice website. Seriously, though there is no pretty women in the office and has little colleague, I'm quite happy with the life here because I do learn a lot of things. Guess what?! The American company has accepted the proposal I did (Of course there are alteration by my boss), and boss is going to fly off to US for requirement gathering! LOL

But then I guess it will be a tough job to develop the system especially when developing it by alter the opensource framework, I would be a damn tough one.

End of crapping on work....

How is my private life? Seriously I have no life recently, I go out very very very very less nowadays, but I do plan to get shopping a bit at the end of month :P Why? Spend what I left!!!! Hahaha I also thought of getting a new phone, but... I don't want to spend one lump sum for a device le..

Girls? Erm.. nop, no one. But will go out with a few friends this coming weeks :P

What's more?

Nothing lo.. Time to go back to work : )

CHEERS~~~~~~

Recent Updates? Juz-IT part 2

2008-03-08T01:33:00.002+08:00

Seem I have abandon my room since I start working, indeed it seems that 24 hours is not enough for me again, I have tonnes to read for my work, tonnes to read for myself, tonnes to read for my dad, it's all about reading everyday.

I don't even find time for read papers, so what's more on blogging?

Hmm.... so how's life at Juz-IT? Erm.. I think I have joined the right company for having such a capable boss, seriously I have always think I am quite capable for my level and believe I am among the elites, but that's seriously not when I met my boss and his gf, both of them are so capable, that they able to humble me! Last time I can say my lecturers stupid, no brain, no capable, but I don't even dare to say that or even think of it to my boss.

What have I been doing in the office? I spent most of my time reading, seriously reading. Trying to build a website using opensource software. It's really hard for a person who pro Microsoft for so many years to adapt to opensource, but research has shown that opensource does gaining the market of business around the world.

My boss also planning to venture into i-Phone software development. (not sure if he's kidding)

The coming project after a month will be web-based ERP. That's challenging man!

Nothing to update anymore, tired and sleepy.

NiteX

This is the lesson everyone should learn

2008-03-02T15:01:00.002+08:00

Yesterday when I was driving back to my house after finish yam cha.. to my horror, I don't dare to drive that fast anymore, seriously!

While driving back home using Grand Saga Link, there's this highway ranger trying to bottle neck the highway pushing the car towards slow lane, firstly I thought must be for the purpose of hanging the election banner or something, then I saw police car there, second thought is sure don't know what kind of traffic block, then when I go further I saw a wrecked car at the fast lane, then I thought surely some asshole speed like speed demon without any experience and banged the divider, come on... let's face it that no matter how you mod your car, it's still a Proton if it's a Proton.

Then there's the policemen, directly the cars to go further to slow lane, this is the very first time I see policemen controlling the traffic, and it's midnight 245 am, then I thought must be the policemen want to preserve the particles on the floor, then when I go further........

I saw...............

A bloody leg! HEY! Just one leg ok?!

It's creepy!

One bloody leg seperated from the body! I didn't see anybody there.. but there's one leg! LEG you know!

LEG!

LEG that just like drumstick on the floor!

So what's the lesson?

Don't drive fast, a car is meant for taking you from A to B! Not driving like Hamilton! What's more? When there's mat rempit or whatever motorcycle trying to take over you, just let them.
You don't want to cause a person to lost his leg right?

Let's don't speed and be tolerate each other on the road.. k?

Happy Birthday Allan!!

2008-02-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

Yoh Happy birthday ya!!!! Muacks~

Keep chase ur dream!

Yesterday is just not my day

2008-02-24T02:32:00.002+08:00

Emotionally not really hype up.

Not sure why.. ~~maybe because some wira bastard who don't know the risk of driving recklessly~~

Birthday coming.. What shall I get for myself le?

Celebrate or not le?

Celebrate with friends?

Can I finish my first assignment in time le?

Will boss happy with it or not le?

Haihz... sleep earlier better...

Nightx

-Sign off-

I just couldn't resist to post it!

2008-02-22T10:37:00.001+08:00

I WANT THIS CAR TOO!!!

OMG OMG OMG I got featured in Magazines!!!!!!

2008-02-18T22:54:00.004+08:00

p/s: just kidding :P but it might happen one day :P

p/s.ii: sorry guys.. the linking was automatically deleted when I changing the theme, will add you guys back in no time :)

freaking tired man..

TAG: ABBY CHIN LEE MEI
CARYN LEONG JIA WEN

Greeting From Juz-IT_i

2008-02-18T16:59:00.002+08:00

PHP note

print_r - print the function

Array Fuction

array_chunk(array_name, size to be shown in a row, true/false (to show the original index))

array_combine(array1 (to display index), array2 (to display value))

array_count_value(array) - to display the quantity of repetitive element in an array

array_diff(array1,array2,array3) - to display index and value in the first array not found in second and third, and third array is optional

array_diff_assoc(array1, array-n) - comparing value only, will display all the index and value is the value is found in all compared array

array_diff_key(array1, array2, array3) - SAB, but comparing index

array_fill(start_index, number of iteration, value (what to be entered)) - just like insert function

array_filter(array1, "myfunction") - sort the array according to the function predefined

array_flip(array1) - to revert the position of index and value

array_intersect(array1, array-n) - to show all the value from array one that present at all array

array_intersect_assoc(array1, array-n) - SAB, with index and value is the same

array intersect_key(array1, array-n) - comparing index only without concerning the value associated

array_key_exist("intended search key", array)

array_keys(array1, "intended search value") - if intended search value is leave blank then it will return default key 0,1,2,3,4,5...

array_map("myfunction", array1, array-n) to compare the value of array1 with the predefined function, if null is entered, all result will be shown

array_merge(array1, array-n) - to append the array, index will follow the array1, else just append one array, it will start from zero, (IF FOUND SAME INDEX, IT WILL OVERRIDE THE EXISTING VALUE)

array_merge_recursive(array1, array-n) - to append the array and a nested array will be created if the index is the same

array_multisort(array1, SORT_ASC/SORT_DESC, SORT_REGULAR/SORT_NUMERIC/SORT_STRING, array2...)

array_pad(array, size, value) - array padding, if the size is negative, then it will add value before the default value, else it will append

array_pop(array1) - delete the last element

array_product(array1) - product all the numerical value available in array

array_push(array1, value1, value-n) - append element to array

array_rand(array1, number (you of random key u need))

array_reduce(array1, myfucntion, initial) - to perform mathematical process based from the value taken from array, initial is the initial number

array_reverse(array1, TRUE/FALSE) - reverse the whole array

array_search(value, array, TRUE/FALSE) - search the value inside the array

array_shift(array1) - remove the first value of the array

array_slice(array1, start, length, preserve) - if it is negative in start then it will start slicing from zero til the length

array_splice(array1, start, length, array2) - it will replace with the element cutted out from the starting location and the length define how many to insert, if it is zero, it will insert all available in array2

array_sum(array1)

Bitwise Operator

$a << $b (multiply by $b*2)

$a >> $b (divide by $b*2)

&*a - "&" act as a reference link

Question:

1. What is

array_diff_unassoc(array1, array-n, "myfunction")

array_diff_ukey(array1, array-n, "myfunction")

array_intersect_uassoc(array1, array-n, "myfunction")

array_intersect_ukey(array1,array-n, "myfunction")

array_search(value, array, TRUE/FALSE) - TRUE (im not sure how it function)

2. Is there any diff between assoc?

This is my job for the whole day from 9 to 6, hahaha it's just like study for exam!

To be frank it's kinda not nice to sit in front of PC for such a long hours, I just hope that it will ends faster and assign me more off site task?

Done! I guess! I like it though

2008-02-15T02:00:00.002+08:00

The phone I want!

2008-02-11T23:55:00.001+08:00

Sony Ericsson XPERIA X1,

While I have been criticizing SE for lack of creativity and innovative creation, here they come up with a brand new branding line up XPERIA! I guess this is the phone I want! 3" Touch Screen! QWERTY keyboard, Wi-Fi, 3.0 MP camera! And most importantly it no longer using their own UIQ Symbian OS, and use Window Mobile Pro!!
HAHAHA I want I want! (Have not release though)

So my temporary solution is still Nokia E61i :P

WTF I have been doing when I'm missing from the Internet world.

2008-02-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

It's been a while man!!

I have been posting all short post to keep my blog updated.

Now it's time for update what I have been doing for the past 4 days. :P

30th Night,

After updated my blog I went to temple for blessing ceremony, which compulsory to attend every year. Actually this ceremony is something I don't like to go when I was young because it's seriously boring and it took my time away from the TV where all the show is showing, especially when the local TV station show "Wong Fei Hong" when I was still young :P

Come back home around 330 am, don't ask me what I did there, it's hard to explain here, I can just say... blessing ceremony :)

1st Day,

Wake up around 1 something, well this year mum did not cock in the early morning. This year she exceptionally cooked at noon! Hahaha nothing to do on the first day then I go back to sleep straight after eating the first meal, til 7 pm. I told you it's bloody headache and unpleasant feel to wake up from noon nap. Just don't like the feeling!! Took my bath and then wait time to pass to go MV, Yes Yes Yes! Mid Valley one the first night on CNY! Just to watch CJ7! It's a nice show!! Worth watching compared to Kung Fu Dunk!

So what I have done after that? Obviously The Gambling Knights planned to go to my house to open table. But there's some "FFK", sigh.... spoil the fun man! I thought this year shall be a happy year but end up just three people gathered. So we just have to proceed with mahjong until 530 am :P

2nd Day,

Went to Teck Wai house, do what? Mahjong again lo... then this year is seriously bored! Believe it or not, we went for Kung Fu Dunk though everyone is not that reluctant to do so, but what to do? Everyone said busy and not around, this is freaking bored man! How's the movie? Not that bad though, acceptable but the storyline is a bit meaningless, those ball are just CG, more or less, copy a bit from Slamdunk! While Gillian is in deep shit now (she's like a porn star now :P maybe she shall go Japan to "revive" her career :P jk jk), Charlene from Twins, seeking fame in this movie too, though I didn't see much of her involvement in the movie, I always wonder why this kind of "cameo" appearance will make them famous and why the always show up in promotion session. End of the movie talk, back to CNY.

While struggling to find a plan where to as most of my friends are not around, I finally decided to follow Gavin to his hometown at first, but end up going to Banting, to a temple with a lot of tanglung around... then being cheated by Gavin, drove one hour to don't know where just to eat a few dishes, and then drove another 1 hour back to Teck Wai house. Hahaha this trip has now result to negative image for Teck Wai for not being trustworthy :P as he promised Desmond to reach home by 1130 and it is delayed til 130 :P (Partly my fault too... :( )

Ling Li, Me, Gavin, Gene, Uncle...............opss he tumpang only

A lot of red lantern!!

Who else la?

Teck Wai & Me & lil Buddha

Buddha Statue

Temple @ Banting

Yvonne, Hong Yu, Kev Long, Me

Me, Chiew Lian, Desmond, Chua, Gene

Chee Hoe, Valarie, Weng Kin

Second day we play Black Jack, while my not-so-trustworthy-friend lost RM200 ++ I won RM2. What a shame... Sigh.. The session ends around 53o am, suppose to go back and sleep but this friend of mine Chiew Lian, dragged me to dim sum session =.= '' Eat til 630 am and reach home by 7 am, and slept til 11 am.

3rd Day,

Around 3pm, we went to Tan KK new house at Ketumbar Heights, a small house but quite neat, suit for him and family! The activities? What else? I just skip le.. While most of my friends went to clubbing, me, Teck Wai and Chee Hoe + Valarie and Mun Hon gambled at my house! Today is slightly earlier! 330 am.

4th Day,

Went out with Eugene and Kin to Jiu Wei house! Activities? Same (This time Big 2)... Lastly before we go back I demanded Jiu to play a song with her piano :P Quite good though! Then went to buy a cake for my lil sis as birthday present! LOL Then had dinner with family and cut cake with sis :P Mine is coming!! Eagerly waiting for present!! Then went to Chiew Lian house, same activities (Lammi )!

5th Day,

I did nothing but stay home HAHAHAHHAHAHAA

Happy Chinese New Year 2008!!!

2008-02-06T19:57:00.001+08:00

Let's welcome the Rat year!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2008~~~

WooWoo~~

POP! It comes again!

2008-02-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

What will happen in 3, 5, and 10 years time?

Back to 3 months, to end my probation period!

CNY CNY

2008-02-05T21:56:00.000+08:00

Hahaha lack of updates it seems cos it's CNY soon, a lot of things need to be done, house cleaning, room cleaning, banking, car servicing, friends' gathering, shopping, and..... apply job! Hahaha

For those who don't know!? I have accepted the job as System Analyst at Juzit Sdn Bhd, for more information for this company, you may visit their site? www.juz-it.com

What's more I wanna type here?

Oh yea... I hate beer, damn my friends, yam cha become beer session, naik kereta!!!! I bought 2 pairs of shoes, 7 shirts, 1 short, and....... (a belt maybe? if i can get tomorrow :P)

OK man~ GTG, update again next time!

My First Interview

2008-01-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

There's nothing I have done for the past few weeks, hmmm....

Interviewed on last Friday, it's my first application and it hits on the spot!

Hahaha, am I nervous?

No..... Selamba je...

The location of the company is actually behind the Cheras Toyota Service Center, Jalan Jalak 2.
I thought it is a commercial building or something like Cheras Commercial Park, but................... The very first thought when I reached there is...........

Oh..... I don't want to work here.. I even thought of just "aeroplane" them, but my brain told me to go in and at very least get some bloody experience of interview, my brain convinced my heart. I was so so so reluctant to press the bell!! The building is just very old and nothing worth to have second look! But I do pressed at last.. and the door opened, I saw the company is like my house's second living room, nothing significant, few PC, one Mac, one girl and a guy. So this girl is Shin Yen, which I guess is........ the HR, Admin, Accountant. (Cos I heard she teased the guy, you don't want your salary? And she's the one who e-mailed me to interview : P) The guy, a malay guy, youthful and I guess he's the programmer?

So... they gave me a form and asked me to fill in the form. Done everything the Marketing Manager I perhaps? Caryn, gave me a few stack of PHP test paper, and ask me to answer, then since I have not much interest, I just told her that I have no experience in PHP or whatsoever web-based programming. She smiled a while and told me "It's ok, you can just browse through", I was like... well OK.. (I don't mind spend a few more minutes with you since I don't want to work here also)

Then I just took the papers and go into her room and tell her that I don't know, I was hoping she will tell me that, "OK, this job is not suitable for you, thanks for your time."

But she told me to "Come, let's sit down, we have some conversation." Well..... OK.....

So.. she starts the interview..

As usual, this and that. I just skip those boring part.

Then she asked me about myself. (Come on!! You hit my egoistic part, cannot simply answer one) Ahem... So I just answer what I think about myself!

Do you think that starting work at 23 is too early?

Answer: Hell NO!! I think it's late! Initially when I was in my secondary school I planned that I must be in a senior position in any job I do when I am 23, and now I searching job at 23, it's late. (Of course the answer is not just like what I typed!)

So why you choose SME like us? What attracted you?

Answer: To be frank, when I am searching a job, I look at the company logo before I even click the save button or bookmark, I don't need any CHINA-man company where the boss is always right, the employees are always wrong. So your company logo attracted me and I thought this might be a youthful company, so I clicked and applied!

APIIT is a good college isn't it?

Answer: Yes! But that was last time! The management now sucks and a insufficient of lecturer.

What if your boss has a A method to do a thing while u prefer B method, what do you do?

Answer: Talk to him and explain what I think about B and why I prefer B instead of A.

What kind of job you like? (She seems understand that I am not keen on a routine job)

Answer: To be frank, I don't like sitting down in front of PC everyday doing the same thing. I don't mind travel to client's place to get their requirement and so on. I just don't like routine work.

Hahaha then the respond she gave me is positive.

Then she continue with her elaboration on the company!

What attracts me is that, she told me that the company is trying to get the MSC status, office will be relocated to Cyber or TPM (That's change my mind), furthermore we are SME, you will work closely with ur immediate superior, which is the CEO of the company (WAHHH, good!), sorry he's not around here today, he's always to clients' places (does that mean that I can follow him too?! Hey I like it man!) He's a busy man and do you know that if you are hired, you will need to go oversea for certain assignment? (I have been very eager to have this kind of job) I just scare that your family will miss you and some sort of things related to it (Yes, I miss them too, but I will not give up this chance to go oversea you know?)

I'm not sure if she's bluffing me or not, but I choose to believe rather than doubt! I like this job!

Then bla bla bla

Last but not least, she praised me for having a desire to work to improve to move forward and it's rare to find youngsters like me anymore. (Yea, there are some personal Questions she asked, like what's your dream? what i think about my future? I just answered what I seriously have, as usual I think that telling truth is the best thing!)

So... when the CEO going to call me?

New Template!!

2008-01-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

O.K! I took the clock from Ali~

Now I have RSS! Leng have no need to complain!!

: )

Everyone's happy! !

Time.

2008-01-20T21:55:00.000+08:00

It seems that time really continue going without waiting you, this evening when I was lazed around the T.V, I come across this the Celestial Channel, it was showing "Wait Til You're Older" by Andy Lau, without knowing this movie is actually almost.... 3 years back!

Again.. my tears drop from my eye when the movie play toward the end, why? Hm.... When Andy finally grow old and have able to know what is actually happening in his family, he has regreted that he has grow elder so fast, he cycled round and round the garden to search the old-weirdo-scientist, there's no result, cycled, cycled, cycled, cycled and he finally drop down from the bic, and the old-weirdo-scientist appeared too, saying it's too late. Nothing can be change, there's this phrase of word of wisdom enlightened me.

"After you have cycled so many round in the garden, you still don't understand? No matter how many round you cycled and even letting you able to find me, the fact is you can't go back anymore, you have been circulating around hoping to go away from trouble but in fact you still to face it."

Seriously!! This phrase has help me go through few obstacles in life.

And Andy knows that he has no time, as he is growing old and old, hoping to be given a chance to undo what he done to the family.

Old-weirdo-scientist said,

"Even I give you more time if you don't use it properly, it's useless too, even if I know there's one day left and I use it to the fullest, then your life will not be wasted! Now go find your family when you still have time."

I have been thinking, have I use all my time to the fullest? Or at least 80%? Or at least 50% Or at least 30%? Or I did not?

I have wasted my time.... I need to use my time wisely from now on!

Time and Tide Wait for No One! It's true, it's true!! Don't procrastinate. It's true, it's true!

Don't wait, do it when it is right and YES I WILL!

: )

2008-01-15T21:12:00.000+08:00

Though it is bored and waited for nothing, I'm happy :P

My emcee experience~

2008-01-14T14:00:00.000+08:00

Hahaha for the past two days I went to emcee for my temple dinner. Hahaha anyway this is the first time I wear coat to emcee, I actually emcee-ed before two year back but two year back is very long time ago, like I still remember the experience right?

Anyway the first one is on Saturday at Federal Hotel, for a seminar about Yoga and Meditation organized by my temple. While the next one is Annual Dinner held at Sunway Hotel, and guess what? I'm accompanied by three pretty ladies!!!

It's not very good on on Saturday, the audiences are so......... cool............ For the first time speaking out, I'm just reading but when I look forward, those audiences are staring at me. Stunned! I put down my paper and.... continue reading?! It's a shitty one!

The one on Sunday is much better as I have three pretty women to accompany me! Everything is so messy and it's like everything changed un-accordingly. Delivering the wrong information and mic malfunction and lastly the stupid waiter accidentally poured some red bean soup on my nice coat! Damn you!!!!

But anyway I am satisfied with the result, I believe I speak well, loud and clear! But a veteran told me that my sound... not... "brave to let out", he also commented that we all don't know how to control the crowd, but what he said is right too. No one is bothering us too.

Pictures... will be uploaded whenI got it from those photographer! :P

Mazda Furai 2

2008-01-14T12:44:00.000+08:00

It's just too nice to not to post again!!

New Mazda Furai

2008-01-11T11:30:00.001+08:00

Super nice!!

Version 2 Logo? Hahaha

2008-01-10T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hahaha , a lot of people say cannot...

First (unfinished) product from Adobe Illustrator CS3

2008-01-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

Quotes

2008-01-07T15:01:00.000+08:00

"Books are the bees which carry the quickeninig pollen from one to another mind" - James Russell Lowell

"So please, oh Please, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away And in its place you install, A lovely bookshelf on the wall" - Roald Dahl, 'Charlie and the Chocolate factory'

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you'll go." - Dr. Seuss "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!"

"Books can be dangerous. The best ones should be labeled "This could cahnge your life."" - Helen Exley

"The only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a liltle farther down our particular path than we have yet got ourselves" - E.M. Forster

"Reading aloud with children is known to be the single most important activity for building the knowledge and skills they will eventually require for learning to read" - Marilyn Jager Adams

"There are many little ways to enlarge yout child's world. Love of books is the best of all." - Jacqueline Kennedy

"Teaching reading IS rocket science." - Louisa Moats

"Oh, magic hour, when a child first knows she can read printed words!" - A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, 1943

"I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library." - Jorge Luis Borges

"The man who does not read good books is no better than the man who can't." - Mark Twain

"Wear the old coat and buy the new book." Austin Phelps

"You may have tangible wealth untolad. Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be - I had a mother who read to me." - Strickland Gillilan

"There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island." - Walt Disney

"The ability to read awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive." - The Autobiography of Malcolm X, 1964

"I'm not a teacher; only a fellow traveler of whom you asked the way. I pointed ahead - ahead of myself as well as you." - George Bernard Shaw

"Once you learn to read, you will be forever free." - Frederick Douglass

"Books let us into their souls and lay open to us the secrets of our own." - William Hazlitt

"Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers." - Charles W. Eliot

"Books are lighthouses erected in the great sea of time." - E.P. Whipple

"Never judge a book by its movie." - J.W. Eagan

"I was born with a reading list I will never finish." - Maud Casey

"Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him." - Richard McKenna

"Books had instant replay long before televised sports." - Bern Williams

"A book is a gift you can open again and again." Garrison Keillor

I don't want to procrastinate

2008-01-06T14:56:00.000+08:00

1. I don't want to procrastinate
2. I don't want to procrastinate
3. I don't want to procrastinate
4. I don't want to procrastinate
5. I don't want to procrastinate
6. I don't want to procrastinate
7. I don't want to procrastinate
8. I don't want to procrastinate
9. I don't want to procrastinate
10. I don't want to procrastinate
11. I don't want to procrastinate
12. I don't want to procrastinate
13. I don't want to procrastinate
14. I don't want to procrastinate
15. I don't want to procrastinate
16. I don't want to procrastinate
17. I don't want to procrastinate
18. I don't want to procrastinate
19. I don't want to procrastinate
20. I don't want to procrastinate ANYMORE!!!

It's a curse!!

2008-01-03T11:02:00.000+08:00

How come my lips also got bitten!!!

Now like hotdog only!

ARGGHH

Hello 2008!

2008-01-01T19:00:00.000+08:00

Hello World!

Happy New Year 2008!!!

May Everything Go Smoothly On 2008!!

Year 2007 Review

2007-12-31T21:03:00.000+08:00

It's now 9:04 pm, and it is the last day of 2007 staying at home now waiting for time to go out to have some relaxing time at Gilly Cafe. This year I have decided to not to have a countdown to 2008 at any mall in town. Some of my friends have went down to town to celebrate, anyway I wish them a very happy count down!! HAHAHA. So what have I did for the very last day of year 2007? Believe it or not, I stayed home and cleaned the entire home alone, yes ALONE, those who been to my house shall know the area of my house and yes it very tiring especially when I decided to mop the floor twice, yes TWICE, one with floor cleaner and another time with lime water. Supposingly I shall be thinking what is my year 2008 Resolution, but I thought it is good to clean the house as a sign of......... clearing the bad vibe away?! Yea yea, I guess so~!

Though tired and exhausted, however it does make me happy because I successfully and peacefully cleaned the whole house! Actually not just that, it was yesterday that my old man told me that I shall go search my path, search my future, search my destiny, and I have always said that destiny shall be decided by me and myself, it's always on my hand. And now..... I have the chance, what can I do? Initially I have thought that I will work with my old man to first stabilize the administration operation and then expand the scale of the business. While I am struggling to hold myself back to work with him, and I did (at last), and now he opened another road for me, he gave me a chance to build my own road, the road that only me and myself know where is the end.... Well old man, I am grateful, but I am determined to help you to set you free from the "B" list. Yes, I vow to our "Boss"! Again, Thanks Pop..

In the middle of typing this last post for the year of 2007, I double clicked on MSN messenger, I checked the list of people online and I realized that not many people that are really online. Feeling like I am alone, no no no I don't feel lonely and sad, it just gave me a space to think very deeply. Very deep. Very deep.

Back to January 2007, during January, I'm on holiday for Level 2 year end and waiting for Level 3 commencement. While waiting for commencement, I have helped my old man on his work, it was a boring job to be very serious, my job is just to fetch workers to other site and I am free from working, imagine this I can go Cineleisure at 11 am waiting the time pass until 1 pm and buy food for the workers, and then I can continue walking other mall, this time is The Curve and lastly IKANO. I know I know, there are bunch of people who just envy this kind of job right? You can have it if you want (:P) but too bad, vacancy closed (:P) It doesn't seem to be a good year for me, because on some day, I fell sick, a very serious sick, I got a dengue. The feeling is unexplainable, you can't sleep, you can't eat, you can't walk, you can't sit, everything seems to be so so so wrong. There's one day I seriously wanted to admit myself into the Government hospital, the feeling is just unbearable! I would like to take this chance to say thank you to my dearest mum for taking care of me, being so patient taking care of me, bringing me to numerous medical center, to Chinese doctor and also traditional medication. Some how some what, I went back to the temple, and "sf" said, you must be didn't sleep early it seems, he did some acupuncture on my back and the feeling is just.... "electrifying", HAHA, he said you look big in size doesn't mean I am tough, he said I'm very weak inside. What he gave me to eat doesn't really related to dengue, the medicine have make me go toilet "letting go more", and Whoila! I recovered!

Everything went better and Chinese New Year has then arrived! Everything went so good this year and my new house has become the new base for my bunch of friends, hahahaha my house has totally become a gambling dent! Gambling has not stop until the 15th of first month of Lunar it seems. Oh yea! Do not forget, my mum has held a birthday party for me too! I still remember that Jiu Wei do still follow me going here and there for celebrating CNY. Hahaha now she has got her own life and I wonder if she will still continue following us on this coming CNY? Gonna ask her again. College life has started again and now for this Level 3, quantity has become lesser than expected, no more busty See Ming sister, no more 50 cents, no more Irene. During the first week of final year, I have cracked my head to find a business proposal for my final year, I have come up with two ideas, Online Notebook Purchasing Website; because notebook has become our daily life "need" instead of "want", the other idea was Construction Management System; a system that shall manage the whole construction project in and out, every single detail, and I got a supervisor which I don't even heard of her name, Nadiah Suki, one my friend also got the same and we used to tease her that she is a Japanese. HAHA. Miss Nadiah is actually a very good lecturer, just that she doesn't speak up much and only talk when you ask.

Not everything went so smoothly, I'm struggling with my earning, I am living on debt, my job has not being paid well to me, or shall I just say I am underpaid, I am not happy with my job and I have to rush myself to the center straight after exhausting education life in APIIT and continue in the education line with a opposing role in APIIT, I underperformed, the student has become lesser and I got lesser pay and I am not happy for what I am making from, it has been a very tiring year for me. I have thought of quiting the job, which I did at the later stage of the year. I has be a very tiring 1st Quarter of year 2007. Just one good thing, I have more time on doing my assignment? HAHAHA a compensation for myself. Don't talk about love, it's just rubbish.

Ohh yea! This year my health deteriorate due to my stupid "sacrifices" to a girl, to call her in the middle of the night and got not enough sleep. Let's be fair, well.................. It's my fault, I sacrifice my sleep time for woo-ing her, and what I get? Nothing but hair loss. I don't blame her, it might be the result of summed up pressure, stress, not enough rest, and etc. Luckily it has now become better. Hahaha I still remember that I actually SMS-ed Yunnam Hair Care for a testing session, their consultation gave me an impression that they are the Conmen, while I am so scare I will become bald, they give all the reasoning of my hair loss based on the Questionnaire they gave me to fill in beforehand. It's just a general knowledge that any people who have hair loss shall know. So the testing session seem to good, pretty girls are everywhere, trying to get know you, chat with you and this and that, after all the service, now the consultant come!! (@.@) They will first tell you how good their stuff, what kind of ingredient inside and what's the effect!! Of course I am tempted to sign up their program! But HEY, they want RM3000.00 from me? Again my mum told and scolded me that it's just a cheat!! I was so so so pissed, but she end up correct because one of my friend told me that one of her friend working there too, everything is just......... ahem........... Thanks again mum!

By that time I seriously have no mood, no nothing, no girl, no appearance, no hair, no money, no entry in Blogspot. Living on despair. I have nothing to think about.... except the midpoint for Final Year Project (FYP) Life goes on.....................

Time flies, and now I am with my midpoint, I thought I have did a good job, but it turns out to be an OK one.. Advisor don't seem to like it much though. Now I can take a deep breath and sigh out, I am now at least finished six chapter of my FYP! I can go to my holiday!!! I can rest!!

After all the up and down in relationship, I have decided to put it down, let it be. Life is good without her though, I miss her though, but few days back, I meet up with her again and she did make me put her down forever, put her down as a girl I like, girl I admire, good friend, I guess we both more suit to be just FRIEND. I hope you will continue your life meaningfully. One of my best friend has wake me up from all this childish dream! I admire you my friend! I respect you! That's what I call a best friend, they no need to be with you every day, they don't say words that you like, they just give you good advice (you take it or leave it), they will be there when you need them! You are my man!

But you see, stubborn people like me usually "don't give up" easily, which result to more and more "stupid", continuing suffering from "unfruitful" outcome. In another way I do admire my "undying" spirit and also hate myself of being "stupid and stubborn". It seems so contradict! But whatever it is.. It's the experience of my life, so I do appreciate it, and so I have dedicated a story just for her. Not a very long not too elaborative.

Oh yea! Straight after my holiday from first semester, I did work for PC Fair for Logitech, it's my first time and it's fun but exhausted, know a bunch of lads but didn't keep in touch nor in contact. It seems those model are not that hard to approach, they are the same with other girls too. Apart from that, I found working is seriously not that enjoyable when people always find scapegoat. It's just........... to de-motivating. Nevertheless the job is very much good pay, but I don't see any prospect there unless you have a very purpose to get know the suppliers and the big boss there. Anyway, I do get know some big big suppliers and big big boss from the Award Winning shop at LowYat Plaza. But I didn't keep their contact either, very farking stupid me.

So... Holiday without vacation is not an holiday. So my bunch of friends, U.B.i has come up with this plan going to Perhentian Island (It's actually mine (:P) ), it's actually a good trip (it's ok only actually), flew all the way to Terengganu, took taxi to jetty, row the boat all the way to the island. The water... doesn't impress, might because of it rained a day before or something and the water from hill has all flown to the sea. Everything seems so normal until we go diving! Hey it's my first!! Hahaha my friend told me that I might able to see shark as big as human but the one (and only one) I saw is just as big as my limp. How about Nemo? It's not until the second day where we go to the light house where tonnes of nemo and colorful fish covering all the divers, seriously it is fun! I finally seen a "wall" of fish, they really swim so synchronized!! The coral... is just another disappointment, the tour guide is friendly, and they gave another unforgettable journey for us too! Turtle chasing trip! HAHAHA It seems that turtle are so slow in National Geography, but we seriously cannot follow anyone of the turtle we found, the guide risk his job to catch a sleeping turtle up for a better view and the turtle is just face to face to me! The situation is just like yesterday to me, we all jump at once and everyone swimming toward the turtle, it's like we are hunting them down!! It's a memorable one. I hope there will be another one sooner than later.

Nothing change in my daily routine for 3rd Quarter of 2007, I'm still me, life goes on with college life, stress is piling up, dateline is nearing, and not to forget! I have finally stop my job, not by giving resignation letter, not by telling my boss I'm not interested but a mother of my student told me to quit the center and come over her house to teach her daughter, but I did not though. Why? Because I want to spend more time on my ASSIGNMENTS! Seriously everyday I would turn on my computer or laptop working on my Final Year Project, not even one day I did not touch the document. The one I really remember is the Chapter 7, where everything cramped inside! The ever complete chapter in my college life! Worst ever! Spent few week just for that chapter! I don't have any time for other assignment, I left out my Perspective of System Analysis & Design and Applied Communication Technology.

Dateline is nearing and one of my classmate always reminds me my dateline on his MSN nick name (you are the man!! your nick inspired me to finish my project! HAHA) , counting down the dateline and it has finally got to the remaining 30 days, where I have finished 75% of my documentation and 60% of my system, and I finally finished my documentation on the very last day of the dateline, compiling is the toughest job ever! Spent 4 hours just for compiling the 10 chapters. Reaching college on 1 pm and printing, photocopy and binding takes another 2 and a half hour, it's finally done by 3:30 pm!!!! And I think I made a final friend from APIIT, which is the lady owner of the photocopy shop! She even treat us McDonald! (Thx ya!)

I finally submitted my FINAL YEAR PROJECT! By 5:30 pm! Finally............... One big mountain has left my shoulder, and of course I have slacked back again.. Lazy Lazy Lazy. Now come the devil lecturer, Ms. Thana, also one of the best lecturer! Throughout my college life there are a few lecturers really got my respect, and they are Mr. Sugumaran, Mr. Rathakrisnan, Ms. Supriya, Ms. Palvinder, Ms. Bridget, Mrs. Kwan, and another VB lecturer, sorry sir but I have forgotten your name. Back to the devil lecturer! Ms. Thana, a great lecturer who always demand for critical analysis! You trained us well maam! I appreciated you so much, you trained me into thinking more critically, more mature, and always come with a business mind set in anything. But seriously Mr. Chai and Chai Pallets plus RFID really killed me! It's even harder than FYP, and I seriously re-do all my documentation, everything critically criticized and analyzed! I did my best for that part! I am proud of my work, I don't care what grade I get, because it'd trained me so much! Though I still think Ms. Thana is requirement creeping the assignment! PSAD is a lot more easier, and I took prolly around 4 days to complete the whole thing, more of that I got an A, HAHAHAHA thanks Ms. Palvin!

After so much hassle!! The final day of college has arrived! Everything happened in college will be remembered forever, sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and whatsoever, I will craft it in my heart. My holiday has finally start on November! Haha living seriously meaningless! Too free until I have met corner of dead end thinking of unless life ahead. Restricted to myself that working with my old man is the darn boring and old style work, labour alike kind of style. And now on the 2nd last day of the year of 2007, my old man himself has took the key and release me from the cage and asked me to fly. I was seriously puzzled now. For the past November I'm struggling to convinced myself to work with my old man, and now, I have no idea what lies ahead but I am definitely confident that it's the brightest road ever. I know it will be like the course I took, the Hybrid Road, since it's hybrid, it will be a very exciting one. I will have no more childish dream, dreaming of getting girls, getting nice clothes, getting nice car, getting whatever shit. It seems the time has come I need some aspiration. I need a goal for year 2008, I promised myself it will be the best start ever. Thanks old man for setting me free! I will not disappoint you and also will not let you down, I'll be back to your helm to help you whenever you need me.

2007, a year which gives me a lot of hassle, a lot of problem, a lot of difficulty, and I have not die yet, there's a quote "If it doesn't kill me, it makes me stronger!" I believe I'm stronger now. Yes I am. I will conquer the year of 2008.

Now I would like to bid good bye to 2007.

Hasta La Vista 2007!

Something Unexpectedly from Jay Chou Concert

2007-12-28T18:59:00.000+08:00

It suppose to be few weeks ago but I just found it from Youtube.

Save Dolphin

2007-12-25T14:50:00.000+08:00

glumbert - Dolphin massacre in Japan

I think this is an old stuff, but no harm have a look at it?

Merry Merry Christmas~~!!

2007-12-25T01:31:00.000+08:00

I wish all my wish will come true and the following year will be a very smooth year!!

What's yours?